Project כבד Rav Ephraim Eliyahu Shapiro shlita at the כבד את אביך ואת אמך Asifa in Lakewood this week for women and girls.
Passionate words about child alienation severing the connection and uprading and enhancing our Kibud Av V'Aim one of the עשרת הדברות.
He is a hundred percent right about hearing both sides, because people will argue that sometimes separation is necessary. But almost all therapists do not speak to all parties, they will make sholom bayis decisions without speaking to spouse, and teens without speaking to the parents.
ReplyDeleteIt is time to publicly hold all those accountable for ripping families apart and separating children. This is one of the biggest stains and kiting on us in these days. We have allowed hundreds of living yesomim who are scarred for life and their parents have also been killed.
ReplyDeleteThis has to become a revolution.
Any therapist Rav askanim, parent or agency that is involved in this RETZICHA should be publicly called out and no longer allowed to take any cases.
There is a lot of money involved with keeps powerful people protecting alianation.
Said the ANONYMOUS poster.
DeleteIt's correct that therapists should think very strongly before alienating a parent, but there is often reason for it.
ReplyDeleteStrong parents will never have their kids alienated.
It's the ones that abused the children or mentally unstable which pressured their children and demanded things from them and continue when they get to older and have more stress.
Maybe instead of talking about kids alienating the parents find out the root problem. Speak to parents about how to deal with kids, to realize the kids today were not the kids from 20 years ago.
I have parents and inlaws. They are very demanding. BH I respect them but is very hard at time and can only imagine what the younger generation goes through.
Let me tell you. As bad as a upbring that you had and l know you felt very pressured by your parents, you must still be angry at them. But, you had patents, you had a home of your own to come home to, and you felt normal and secured.
DeleteIt seemed like you found a compatible shiduch and you are moving on.
You learnd from other's mistakes on how to be a good husband and a good father.
However an alienated child feels hopeless angry and hating.
No home, no one cares. The child is either regreting the ailination or is denying that he did anything wrong. She won't trust anyonen and won't know how to have a relationship.
Their children will alienated them in return. RL this is proven again and again.
These children don't do well socially and usually they fail academically as well
You should put things in the right perspective before justifying therapists who encourage children to cut ties with parents.
And by the way it is the weaker parents that don't give a hoot about their child that will facilitate the ailination.
Leaving the child to rot and live on the streets.
The Torah and mesorah have a full list of alienated families...from tanaim who ran away from home to learn to rachel, rabbi Akiva's wife...to The Chasam Sofer to Rav Sheinberg (who also ran away from home). Most of the gedolim of yesteryear were put of their home by bar mitzva. There is a time to stay home...but there are very messed up families where the best option is for the kid to leave
ReplyDeleteIt seems that the only thing you know about Torah and yiddishkeit is the crimes that you like to believe that our Gedolim committed.
DeleteThose have nothing to do with alienation
DeleteThis post was written by an ailinater who is feeling guilty.
DeleteEither by a child who cut off ties with a parent or by a frum therapist who encouraged a child to take this catastrophic move.
An alienator excuses himself, because he is just making the child into another Chasam Sofer.
DeleteWhen we see how many knots this person needed to tie himself into just to excuse himself, you know that he knows he is guilty. As they say in Yiddish, if the dog barks, the stone hit its target.
This all started when one of the old Bais Dins in Lakewood started Giving Heter Arkous and encouraging woman to Go to Secular court and to Family courts to get restraining orders against their Husbands over the slightest Nonsense
ReplyDeleteThankfully that Bais Din fell apart
Right that's what it started with. Totally. Or better yet because KCL something.
DeleteRight?
I have personally seen what this does to my parents and how the kids can change stories, refuse to invite parents to simchos, ignore them for years and then run pr campaigns to further afflict their parents—all with the help of askonim incapable of thinking objectively and without regard to the permanent damage they wrought.
ReplyDeleteOne such case happened nearly a decade ago in Lakewood. The parents don’t even where their children are, r”l.
Learn the halochos rabbosei.
Ah all you smart people out there blasting anyone leaving home and the therapists. Are there therapists out there doing wrong? Absolutely! Is it terrible when families are broken apart? Definitely but there are many cases where unfortunately that is the only and best option. All you smart ones writing here are either clueless about how dysfunctional and dangerous some homes are or you are burying your head in the sand. To write to an abused child that he/she had a home where he felt secure is ignorant on a level that is really hard to believe.
ReplyDeleteDisfunction with a BIG CAPITAL D !!! Is DANGEROUS,!!! BREAK THE PATERN . AND THEN RABOISEI, ONLY THE VICTIM , ONCE HEALED (Wich is usually away from the abuser can heal) then only HE CAN DECIDE IF HE CAN RESPECT.
ReplyDelete