Have we forgotten it was only 2 years ago when people said life is back to the basics when weddings can take place in backyards and consumerism of gashmiyus was a thing of the past. Fast forward 2 years, not only has it been forgotten but we are worse off than pre covid and have far surpassed the limits of a few years ago. It is not anymore a simple gashmiyus issue but an acceptance and chasing of mishegassen and over the top luxury consumerism that have become a way of life.
There's no more buying a slice of pizza, a simple bagel or a scoop of ice cream. It has to be artissinal, hand crafted, or something extraordinary about it where you feel good spending an extra $10 for it. Ice cream is no longer a nice treat if you don't spend $50 for a few scoops. Stores are spending hundreds of thousands on interior decorating to sell their merchandise because otherwise customers won't walk in. A Lakewood magazine recently posted an ad for chartered airline seats to Fort Lauderdale, FL. This is a standard publication yet these ideals are being pushed on the community as an accepted norm.
It starts out as a joke but over time the societal pressures mainstream it, raising the bar on everyone else. Spending $1000 on a winter coat is now an accepted norm and puts pressure on teenagers begging their parents to buy the knock off moose knuckle brand for only $500. We've gone from a little extra gashmiyus to way beyond over the top. For Chanukah, a donut is no more plain with jelly but it has to cost $7- $10 a piece infuzed with anything but oil. A simple challah for shabbos is now a choice of over 25 different types ranging from egg, water, whole wheat, heimish, sweet. pretzel, artesanal, french, sweet, and the latest sourdough trend. Bakeries can no longer sell a few varieties but have to keep on inventing and creating more products to always have something new. A kiddush must have the latest meat or fish boards there no more regular standard. The need to keep on adding new sophisticated products drives up the costs and takes something that used to be a norm for years, to a short shelf life of a few months until the next must have craze comes around.
Now, while there are people that can afford this lifestyle and spend as they wish, the social pressure has a direct result on those who can't afford it.
Never has there been such a disparity of rich and poor in the same place with people who barely make ends meet yet this lifestyle flies in everyone's face and the stores are pushing this lifestyle on everyone as they gain to profit by marketing and targeting the high end consumerism. As a result the cost of simple living is not attainable or affordable across the board from clothing to food to cars, housing, vacations, Simchas and the list goes on.
At the recent Agudah convention this topic of consumerism and Gashmiyus was addressed throughout the weekend with a special Sunday morning session dedicated to it. The roshei yeshiva spoke about the importance to connect to Limud Hatorah which will satiate the neshama and not have it chase other things, being samech bechelko. but they said something has to be done about it.
wow this post was spot on. not sure what we as klal can even do to curb the trend. we fell way to far off the deep end
ReplyDeleteDon't blame the stores. If we wouldn't buy they wouldn't sell or advertise. My family didn't change our buying habits since the new gashmius came to town. If everybody did the same ,tge stores wouldn't sell thar kind of stuff . Obviously there us a new type If demographic in Lakewood and we need to change people's spending and gashmius levels.
ReplyDeleteLucky you but not everyone can withstand pressure and say no. That is exactly whu throughout the generations takanos were instituted
DeleteAgree.
DeleteIf you're above a certain age its probably not a big deal to withstand. But try telling that to your kids however. Do you want them - they too really agree in theory - to be considered nebs by peers AND the staff
Sheker! SPending $1000 on a winter coat is not a norm. Some idiots do so, but it's not a norm.
ReplyDeleteThere is a market for the artisanal stuff, but the old market didn't change.
Plenty people make kidushim without fish/meat/cheese boards, even rich people, and nobody cares. Nobody has to upgrade their Kiddush if they don't want to, and those who lived this kind of life twenty years ago, still do.
The pressure is there. So people say what's an extra $250 on a meat board by a kidush if it makes chosson, in-laws, boy, wife happy. Or the high end drinks, just a few bottles only another $600 to literally flush down the toilet.
DeleteAnd then next kidush it's the meat board, plus the newest whatever. It starts at the ladies kidush with the latest fancy pastry that tastes horrible but everyone else has it, so it's a must. How can you not have an avocado cake, it's not a simcha without it?
Every other high school girl is wearing that coat
DeleteLakewood has a clothing and fashion problem. It's nothing new, it didn't start 2 or 5 years ago. It's a Lakewood problem, it's been a problem here for many years, this wasn't brought here by Brooklyn people.
ReplyDeletekeep fooling yourself. this did not exist 10 years ago. it absolutely was brought in by the brooklyn people and the "new" lakewood people.
DeleteKeep imaginaing an old Lakewood that never existed and blaming our problems on outsides. We need introspection. Putting our heads in the sand won't help. This is a product of our schools and chinch system.
DeleteMostly by the new Lakewood. The guys doing the meatboards and flying private jets and spending 100k on pesach vacations are mostly guys who learned for a bit in BMG. It's not ncessarily the Brooklyn people who moved to Toms River .
DeleteHowever, it was good that a couple of philanthropists decided to accuse the old Lakewooders of haughtiness for not wanting this type of stuff to infiltrate their schools and their kids.
Deleteלא לחכמים לחם
throughout the generations this has happened, this is not a new problem, אין חדש תחת השמש . In fact during the 18th and 19th centuries the Jews of certain communities enjoyed tremendous wealth and displayed it prominently. Many of the Dutch Jews in Amsterdam fell into this category. In the times of the Noda Byehuda, it was like this as well, and he famously issued a ruling regarding extravagant Chasunas. Point being, this problem isn’t new, but we are facing a severe leadership problem. There is no מנהיג to address these things, nobody who everyone will listen to.
ReplyDeleteThis is perhaps one of the hardships of עקבתא דמשיחא, when we reach a level that even Gedolim we don’t have.
Reb Chaim Volozhiner is quoted to say (brought down in Toldos Yitzchak al Hatorah), that if you look at the משנה at the end of סוטה, it ends off with אין לנו להשען אלא על אבינו שבשמים, which is seemingly out of place since it lists off all the סימנים of עקבתא דמשיחא and how is this a siman? It’s not a siman,
— it’s a fact which applies everywhere. Reb chaim explains that indeed this is the biggest Simman, since we will reach a point where even basic social norma we won’t have; even Gedolim we won’t have. We’ll have no choice but to rely on Hashem. When this happens we’re in deep trouble.
this article is 100 % right, but the ending at the recent agudah convention.. thats hypocrisy the whole convention is one weekend of gashmeyus .who can afford to spend and blow 2 grand for a weekend of gluttonous food ,beleive me they werent just serving fried eggs and coffee for breakfast so does a few droshos while your dunking your artisan doughnut into your coffee kasher the gashmeyos ??just saying..
ReplyDeleteThe food is about the least of the problems
DeleteWho was the caterer?
DeleteThe decision to have the Agudah convention in such high end venues was made by none other than Rav Ahron Kotler because (1) it gives the Agudah prestige to those who value such things and (2) many of the donors and activists who they need would never attend an Agudah convention if it were held in some run down venue. They have always made people who can't afford the whole Shabbos more than welcome to drive over and attend their speeches and other actually important events for free.
DeleteSly name dropping Cherry picking. He ridiculed the whole thing .
DeleteAnd he would, if here, ridicule the poster of the previous comment
Back then many of the donors were barely Orthodox AND Orthodoxy was perceived as old Eastern European and couldn't manage to update itself
Get a reality check, sweetie
Unless you are inclined to believe that the donors haven't at all in their essence improved in the last 65 years
DeleteWhere is Lakewood's נחשון בן עמינדב?!
ReplyDeleteOn the bottom of the lake.
DeleteThere are many people living a very simple torahdike lifestyle in Lakewood. Not the type of people who would post on Hefkervelt though.
DeleteWhy does it cost thousands of dollars each yom tov and zman to cloth mesivta boys? New hats, shoes, only certain brand shirts pants, socks. And these are in the top mesivtas. Every boy needs to dress his best, otherwise he's finished.
ReplyDeleteWe worship gvir culture
ReplyDeleteMosdos make high end fundraiser events that a regular frum person would never dream to make such a event at his own simcha
There's a handfull of stores to buy cheap affordable clothing, even DE Janu had to upgrade this is all man made problems that trickle down
Alot of yidden are making parassah off the gvir culture count all the food establishments restaurants caterers party planners clothing stores fashion designers personal shoppers jewelry and silver etc. The gevirim are supporting a huge part of the economy. The money that they generate for others Parnassah is more than the money of those who feel they have to spend because of the gvir culture. It is simple economics and if you Crack down on the gevirim spending the rest of town will lose out.
ReplyDeleteSorry that is mistaken. Many people have made similar such dog eat dog trickle down claims in other countries as an excuse for capitalism for close to a hundred hundred eighty years [going back to the corn law debates]. And by and large it turned out to be detrimental. Standard of living might drop by a little, but it was/is overly compensated by a better quality of life for all (well,except the cutthroat rich who will never be happy obviously when the public are happier)
DeleteIf you need a boost… get a moose..
ReplyDelete👍
DeleteActually if you Google the moose knuckle name it comes from a very prust definition people are proudly displaying a logo that is very not tzniusdig
DeleteWhats wrong with spending big money on foolish items ? If people have it then why not spend it ? It motivates younger people to work hard and be successful. Imagine people wouldn't have what to waist money on, they wouldn't be driven to get wealthy.
ReplyDeleteChazal said you can only give up to 20% tzedaka, so the balance 80% blow on whatever you want. Some people waist money on saving their money forever and then what ? Why do u need endless money, if it's just going into savings accounts. That's really a waist. Saving for a rainy day is foolish. Hashem decrees what you will have regardless of if you saved money or not.
Wrong! This doesn't mean you should indulge and spend irresponsibly and prod your yetzer hara to grow until you can't keep with all of its demands!
DeleteThe reason not to give more than chomesh is to avoid being a nitztarech labriyos because if a person is mefazer kol mamono he will become poor.
DeleteSo to the contrary you should not blow your money and throw it down the toilet
As long as we continue to blame Brooklyn this won't get fixed. This is a Lakewood made problem. The first step in fixing it, is recognizing it.
ReplyDeleteas long as brooklyn keeps infiltrating lakewood this will not get fixed. brooklyn people gleefully caused the problem and couldn't care less about fixing it. the lakewooders were just just onlookers as our town was turned went down the drain. but it's probably way too late to fix anything anyway.
DeleteIf the Roshei Yeshiva would establish ground rules and immediately walk out of events not in compliance, we would have a shot. Until then, good luck trying to get some change.
ReplyDeleteThere's the reason R Henoch Leibowitz refused to put his signature on the original Takanos
DeleteAs he put it: A Takana that allows for "important exceptions" isn't worth the paper
B'krovai Ekadieish
There's supposed to be bigger onus for (those who wish to consider themselves) bigs.
As well similarly,there should be greater punishments for their misdeeds as compared to others& less excuses . Contrary to current practice
Did anyone see pics of the aguda convention? Looked pretty high end to me...
ReplyDeleteAs other comments already said, food is the least if it. High end events are the least of it. So are crazy vacations and the private jets. Luxuries are not the problem. It's not where the 1% or the 10% go or what they do, most of it you don't see unless look for it. The problem is what's in your face. Look at the 90%. Cars, shopping, clothing, and many other must haves. Look at the culture that the magazines (and websites and billboards) which most of us bring in to our homes, are promoting.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in BMG 35 years ago, the bochurim all wanted Borsalino hats, designer belts and shoes, and expensive wool suits. This is not a new problem, and not a "Brooklyn" problem. It's and old problem with modern day props. It's debatable if it's even a problem. It's a problem for people who can't afford them. It was a problem for them back in the days too!! We have to accept that there are multiple classes of people. It was that way during the times of the gemara. There is a reason the shoemakers davened in a different shul than the real estate moguls.
ReplyDeleteAn infatuation with clothing is, and always was, part of the fabric of Lakewood society. It's not found Brooklyn, Monsey,or any of the out of town frum communities. It recently got so bad and so unaffordable that even people in Lakewood are begining to notice. Nothing to do with tzenius, it's an obsession with style and dress. Females and males alike.
DeleteBecause they're in shiduchim, but they grew out it shortly after they got married. Not anymore. Watches glasses belts ties shoes underwear.
Deletebaloney. you never were in bmg
Deleteab,
DeleteThey also were in golus and remained there.
Do We we want to ever go out?
A lot of this comes down to chinuch. Why are there so many kids asking their parents for things that other people have. Why can't we teach our kids to not look over their shoulder what other people think and do. I tell my kids that I only care what Hashem thinks.
ReplyDeleteOf course we have to be normal, look like a mentch, and be part of society. But in principle, we shouldn’t waste money on expensive items when we can get cheaper items that are decent quality.
Why can't we tell our kids No. Why can't we point out to our kids how buying certain items will raise the standards for others. Why can't we explain to our kids how ridiculous it is to spend $400 on a winter coat. It's much smarter to save money for future needs like chasuna expenses, and buy a cheaper coat.
This chinuch is so critical in today’s generation. And it should start with ourselves. We should set an example for our kids, by not buying whatever our neighbors have. I recently had a baby and specifically did not buy a certain stroller that many others had, because I wanted to teach my kids that I don’t have to buy something just because others have it. I can manage with the one that I have.
I’m sure this helped my kids stand stronger in the face of peer pressure because they learn from their home that they should NOT be comparing to what others have. Just because someone else has something, doesn’t mean that they need it.
HAHAHA Agudah spoke about it?? Did you see the high end event planner, gifts & decor there that was NOT there 3,4 years ago?
ReplyDeleteThey are hypocrites for discussing this issue at that event.