A work shop to train therapists and social workers in family
This Sunday January 8 Dr. Joshua Coleman PHD of San Francisco Will be giving a workshop in the Nefesh international conference at the Hilton, Parsippany NJ for Mental health professionals. Dr Coleman is a world renown psychologist, author, and speaker.
The field of psychology has largely ignored the realities of estranged parents and/or children in theory, research, and practice. While healthcare professionals frequently encounter estranged parents and children in their practice, few of these professionals have undergone training (either pre- or post-licensure) that adequately addresses the specificity of the trauma afflicting this population, facilitates clients’ growth, or enhances the likelihood of reconciliation. In fact, many therapists who provide guidance to estranged family members inadvertently worsen the estrangement rather than improve it.
This course will familiarize healthcare professionals with current social science research on the causes of estrangement and the various treatment modalities that are most effective in working with these clients. Dr Coleman will be discussing mistakes that parents make as well as mistakes that therapists and rabbis make when working with this population. Because it is very easy to support one side and end up really hurting the other side and ultimately the children themselves. So having a much more comprehensive and systemic view is critically important.
The training will cover. RULES OF ESTRANGMENT.
• Common reasons for estrangement
• Intervention approaches for therapists.
• Best strategies for helping clients.
Earn up to 6 CE credits. Register at WWW.NEFESH.ORG. Registration includes breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
(Submitted)
This is one foot in he right direction going forward, but what will be with the many karbonos of the existing system
ReplyDeleteSo the mental health mafia caused this problem in the first place and now we are supposed to trust them to fix it?
ReplyDeleteIf you can't fight'em Join'em.
DeleteTherapists are in a very powerful positions. They basicly control their clients. Most therapists in our community have very little training and even with maximum training and experience they are not capable of running people lives. Definitely not trouble people lives. Therapists are the cause to many problems without even realizing it. They say that they mean well, and they probably mean well but the mere fact that they are in this position will by default do great damage to their client and their family even if it is only a fraction of their time and most of ther work will be helping people. Therapists are here to stay and the community is going to them. The least they can do is become familiar with estrangement.
Getting the basic training will minimize the damage to the client. An honest therapist will approach these situations with all seriousness and responsibility. Social workers will learn from their mistakes and gradually they will know their boundaries and their capabilities.
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Make it mandatory for every Rov, Dayan, therapist and anyone else who kills families under whatever name he fancies. This is a tragedy and I daven that some sort of awareness comes out of this
ReplyDeleteThere is one system of trust and loyalty in a young child. Trust in his parents, trust in the rabeim and teachers and trust in Hashem. When someone takes away the loyalty and trust a child has in a parent it will weaken the entire system losing trust in any authority... Are you still wondering why kids go off.
DeleteYou could not be more right. The “therapists” and I do not think it is all but certainly most of them have a sense of power and play G-D ripping away a parent from a child and thus stealing his trust of adults, close ones and eventually r”l HaShem. So sad that we allow therapists whose job by definition is to provide a therapeutic path to instead make decisions and take sides that destroy lives and generations. We need to stop all forms of parental alienation at once. Those that are guilty and have been a party to this (many “prominent” Rabbonim and therapists will one day give a din vecheshbon. Yet we as a society and as shomrei Torah can not sit by idly and allow this to happen. If a father or mother does not have access to their children we must speak up. It is wrong!
DeleteRabanim should NOT give a heter to alienate from parents without hearing BOTH sides. Sometimes the new husband can be the cause where he blames his wife's parents so the new couple can break ties with them. I heard a few stories of excellent relationships between daughter and parents until they got married and then the husband stopped the relationship due to various twisted stories.
ReplyDeleteHow can any Ruv give a heater on ANYTHING without hearing both sides?? Isn’t that totally assur??
DeleteNeithe should rabonim give a heter to purchase a gun and kill. Even for self defense.
DeleteJust because a rov has a warm personality and knows public speaking it doesn’t mean that he can pasken halacha,
DeleteJust because a rov knows basic Mishna Berura doesn't mean he can pasken Choshen Mishpat.
Just because a rov has a long beard it doesn't mean that he can be trusted, and his word is final.
just because a rov is connected to askonim doesn't mean that he can bully people.
Just because a rov council couples doesn't mean that he can takes sides.
Just because a rov is knowledgeable in hlacha doesn't mean that he can pull children away from their parents
Is estrangement basically where the parents put one specific brand of religion above the welfare of the child?
ReplyDeleteNope. it is where an immature/incapable couple lacks the capacity to maintain a normal relationship with their spouse and their parents. They simply cannot do both. So at the "advice" of "Rabbonim" and "therapists" they are advised to alienate themselves from either his or her parents. This is a real problem in Klal yisroel right now and it is because these rabbis (many which are very well respected/famous) have no clue what they are doing. This has nothing to do with religion, daas torah, or anything of the sort. If anything, this is a gross violation of kibbud av v'eim which is terribly chamur. Hence the reason for this important workshop. Finally.
DeleteOr is it a boundary issue irrespective of religion
ReplyDeleteEstrangement and alienation has nothing to do with religious level or type. It is usually when therapists and rabonim try to help one side in a divorced family. by helping one side taking away the trust kids have in the other parent. That child is brainwashed against his parent and lives a segregated life with no contact to her or his parent. It happens in married families also when a third party usually a teacher, a therapist, or a rov will believe that there was "abuse" and even without proper investigation they will advise and assist the children to move out of the house and cut off ties with both parents.
DeleteRespectable rabonim, teachers and priniciples from the best schools,yeshiovs, and seminaries are advising children to break ties with their own parents and they use their powerful positions to help one side in a divorce situation by getting their Talmidim/dos to turn against one parent and grandparents.
How could an uninformed Yid on the outside (possibly some of those commenting here) claim that respected and responsible Yidden are making decisions without knowing enough information? Do they realize how uninformed they are? Yes, they see some of the pain. Yes, they mean well. But no, they are not involved and they should know just that. If the matter is not brought to you then you should not get involved (not even in the courtroom of your mind). Express your concern by pouring out your heart in davening for all the involved parties to resolve all the issues in the best way possible.
ReplyDeleteעל ראש הגנב בוער הכובע אויף דער גנב ברענט דאס היטל
DeleteNobody is making claims. Just because someone is respected, that does not give him a license to break up families, especially parents and children. This is precisely the point of this awareness, to educate naive people like you. You don't realize there is a Churban going on in Klal yisroel!
DeleteAlso, sorry to disappoint you but by your line of logic you are guilty of the very same thing you are accusing others of. On one hand, you don't like how people "claim that respected and responsible Yidden are making decisions without knowing enough information", yet on the other hand, you are claiming that all these "respected and responsible Yidden" would never make a decision without enough information. You have zero proof of that; it's just your claim. And you are dead wrong. Rabbis and young therapists with inadequate training are 100% responsible for this.
Please use this metric:
Deleteאין לדיין אלא מה שעיניו רואות
If a matter is brought to a qualified Yid he may and must pasken with מה שעיניו רואות.
However if a matter is not brought to an individual, such that he is not in the דיין position (as human nature tends to trip many into the temptation to see themselves as a deciding power), then even with מה שעיניו רואות he can't come to conclusions because for a non-דיין we are taught:
הוי דן את כל אדם לכף זכות-
Which means: what you don't know - make up and fabricate to come to a favorable conclusion. In other words: remember that you are uninformed.
And if you'll ask, nu, but what if there are two parties and only one is right, how can I דן את כל אדם לכף זכות? I think the answer is - don't be דן.
ווער האט דיר געמאכט פאר א דיין?
As a therapist I’m baffled by the hatred towards therapists who are just trying to help. There’s a reason we get paid the way we do, we obviously know what we’re doing.
ReplyDeleteMr. Therapist,
Delete1. you are part of the problem not the solution. Therapists who "are just trying to help" is what causes this issue, since you take money to help but don't have proper expertise in this highly complex area.
2. Dr. Mordechai Weinberger - a renowned professional therapist - has dealt with many many cases of people who's life got messed up because of these so-called therapists, just like this wonderful guy who is "just trying to help"
3. A therapist is no different than a doctor! Some doctors are bad and some are good.
BOTTOM LINE: stay far away from a therapist with an attitude like this who claims to obviously know what he's doing because he takes money. Ridiculous!
this is obviously a troll trying to get people to respond. no one could really be that smug and condescending.
DeleteThe field of psychology has largely ignored the realities of estranged parents and/or children in theory, research, and practice. While healthcare professionals frequently encounter estranged parents and children in their practice, few of these professionals have undergone training (either pre- or post-licensure) that adequately addresses the specificity of the trauma afflicting this population, facilitates clients’ growth, or enhances the likelihood of reconciliation. In fact, many therapists who provide guidance to estranged family members inadvertently worsen the estrangement rather than improve it.
DeleteThis course will familiarize healthcare professionals with current social science research on the causes of estrangement and the various treatment modalities that are most effective in working with these clients. Dr Coleman will be discussing mistakes that parents make as well as mistakes that therapists and rabbis make when working with this population. Because it is very easy to support one side and end up really hurting the other side and ultimately the children themselves. So having a much more comprehensive and systemic view is critically important.
Dr Weinberger is a professional therapist just like me so why do you say I don’t have the proper expertise in this complex area?
ReplyDeletebecause you're a pompous jerk and he's not
DeleteOne of the leading New York therapists who sat on the State board wrote that two-thirds of certified therapists are unworthy
ReplyDeleteAnd get paid for mediocrity or less
Correction: social workers
DeleteThat therapist doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
ReplyDelete