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Thursday, September 5, 2024
Hashkafa Q&A
Hashkafa with Reb Gershon Ribner Shlita
Common misconception: A quintessential marriage means sharing everything
Using Yiras Shamayim to manipulate others
Is there an area in avoda where bal habatim can surpass bnei torah
Besides what the Rabbi said, a person cannot share everything with his wife. There is no way a wife can appreciate the depths of a ben torah's life, with his ideas, struggles, motivations, derhers, and chizukim. When a ben Torah ligs in lernen, and his life is about the sevara of nisroknah, how can he share that with his wife who doesn't have the slightest clue what it is all about? If a person goes into marriage thinking that his wife is his best friend, he will become a woman. Men should stay men, and women should stay women. Men shouldn't involve themselves in their wive's petty issues, and they shouldn't involve their wives in their issues.
The whole idea of 'marry your best friend' is for people who want to live a life of hedonism and pleasure, not people who are living for a tachlis.
Sure! The Arizal's wife would discuss the details of עתיק ואריך with him..... And Rebbetzin Kaniyevsky would hear that day's chidushim in Shas from Reb Chaim during lunch.
Please!
I did not say they didn't like each other. But they are not best friends, they can't share their lives. Reb Chaim did not know that the dough for the challah didn't work out so she had to make another one. And she did not know how he managed to work out a diyuk in Rashi that morning. If you think so, you are saying something about yourself.
Besides what the Rabbi said, a person cannot share everything with his wife. There is no way a wife can appreciate the depths of a ben torah's life, with his ideas, struggles, motivations, derhers, and chizukim. When a ben Torah ligs in lernen, and his life is about the sevara of nisroknah, how can he share that with his wife who doesn't have the slightest clue what it is all about? If a person goes into marriage thinking that his wife is his best friend, he will become a woman. Men should stay men, and women should stay women. Men shouldn't involve themselves in their wive's petty issues, and they shouldn't involve their wives in their issues.
ReplyDeleteThe whole idea of 'marry your best friend' is for people who want to live a life of hedonism and pleasure, not people who are living for a tachlis.
It doesn't seem that R' Chaim Kanievsky zt'l conducted his marriage as you are suggesting.
DeleteThe arizal supposedly did.As well as more than several others.
DeletePerhaps the problem lies with our system
Sure!
DeleteThe Arizal's wife would discuss the details of עתיק ואריך with him.....
And Rebbetzin Kaniyevsky would hear that day's chidushim in Shas from Reb Chaim during lunch.
Please!
I did not say they didn't like each other. But they are not best friends, they can't share their lives. Reb Chaim did not know that the dough for the challah didn't work out so she had to make another one. And she did not know how he managed to work out a diyuk in Rashi that morning. If you think so, you are saying something about yourself.