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As an older single woman, never married (late 30’s) I have dated for years. Every word is correct. I’d rather be single than divorced, even with the social stigma in the frum community not wearing a shaitel among other women my age. I am constantly working on myself in order to hopefully have a good marriage one day IYH. I will not compromise on bad middos or incompatibility just for the sake of social stance. I will stay strong in my Emunah.
I for one was very surprised that there was very little burden put on the boys side regarding divorce The fact that some boys who are not mature enough when they feel a shidduch is not for them and proceed to go through with it due to parental , familial or societal pressure is also a huge factor . There are other nuances that plague the boys end as well but we dont need to embellish I wonder if that was by design or if will be addressed in a future clip
Question for the 90% women commenter. Is your insinuation that the high divorce rate is women's fault because they are the ones requesting it or that it's the mens fault because they are the cause of it as the wives wanna bail out of the marriages so it must be the men doing marriage wrong?
Well if it is predominantly a boys market then girls will necessarily be pressured into marriages that aren’t ideal which well explains why they’re the ones overwhelmingly initiating the divorces . .
What came first, the chicken or the egg? In the secular world the vast majority of divorces are also initiated by wives (though not necessarily 90%) - is that also due to a 'boy's market'??
Two stories: I know someone who asked the Steipler about his famous shita that older singles are single because people are too picky. L’maaseh what should an older single who doesn’t find anyone they are interested in do? The Steipler answered that after enough years of going out and not finding anyone they should realize that this just isn’t working. Have their parents find someone who they think is good for them, meet once and get engaged unless there Is a major turnoff at the meeting.
However I also heard from a chosuver rav that he asked Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach if someone using that chesbon can pressure his older single daughter into an engagement. RSZA answered empathically that “NO ONE EVER has the right to pressure someone else into an engagement”
(The Steipler meant that the older single should agree to their parents deciding. Not that the parents should Ch’v do it on their own initiative)
No but we know from chazal that previous doros didn’t have the same nisyonos we have today. For example we know the yidden who went out of mitzrayim had a huge yetzer hora for avoda Zara and we totally can’t relate to it because we don’t have that yetzer hora at all. This is basics.
As society continues to degenerate, not necessarily, although Darwin and all his fans won't like that. The human condition and appearance goes down with it
As an older single woman, never married (late 30’s) I have dated for years. Every word is correct. I’d rather be single than divorced, even with the social stigma in the frum community not wearing a shaitel among other women my age. I am constantly working on myself in order to hopefully have a good marriage one day IYH. I will not compromise on bad middos or incompatibility just for the sake of social stance. I will stay strong in my Emunah.
ReplyDeleteMay Hashem send you a zivug hagon B'Korov!
Deleteme too(-; chabyd@gmail.com
DeleteAlso, as there are so many girls, guys feel like they can just get someone else . .
ReplyDeleteOnly problem is, over 90% of frum divorces are initiated and sought by the woman/wife.
Deletedoes anyone have actual percentages ? bmg has approx 600 chasanim a year , what number would be "skyrocketing" ?( even a few is painful)
ReplyDeleteUntil real studies are done there’s no way to know if it’s the same % just larger community
ReplyDeleteI for one was very surprised that there was very little burden put on the boys side regarding divorce
ReplyDeleteThe fact that some boys who are not mature enough when they feel a shidduch is not for them and proceed to go through with it due to parental , familial or societal pressure is also a huge factor .
There are other nuances that plague the boys end as well but we dont need to embellish
I wonder if that was by design or if will be addressed in a future clip
Everything we do in life, once we hit the age becomes 'ready or not', why should marriage be different?
DeleteCould it have to the with the numbers of who initiates and seeks the divorce? Over 90% of frum divorces are initiated and sought by the wife.
Deletewhat's your source?
DeleteQuestion for the 90% women commenter. Is your insinuation that the high divorce rate is women's fault because they are the ones requesting it or that it's the mens fault because they are the cause of it as the wives wanna bail out of the marriages so it must be the men doing marriage wrong?
DeleteWell if it is predominantly a boys market then girls will necessarily be pressured into marriages that aren’t ideal which well explains why they’re the ones overwhelmingly initiating the divorces . .
ReplyDeleteWhat came first, the chicken or the egg? In the secular world the vast majority of divorces are also initiated by wives (though not necessarily 90%) - is that also due to a 'boy's market'??
DeleteUnfortunately: ויתערבו בגוים וילמדו מעשיהם
Two stories: I know someone who asked the Steipler about his famous shita that older singles are single because people are too picky. L’maaseh what should an older single who doesn’t find anyone they are interested in do? The Steipler answered that after enough years of going out and not finding anyone they should realize that this just isn’t working. Have their parents find someone who they think is good for them, meet once and get engaged unless there Is a major turnoff at the meeting.
ReplyDeleteHowever I also heard from a chosuver rav that he asked Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach if someone using that chesbon can pressure his older single daughter into an engagement. RSZA answered empathically that “NO ONE EVER has the right to pressure someone else into an engagement”
(The Steipler meant that the older single should agree to their parents deciding. Not that the parents should Ch’v do it on their own initiative)
The idea that the יצרא דעריות is greater now than it was, is absolutely ludicrous.
ReplyDeleteBut it is, if you don't notice it, it's because you're already fully immersed in it.
Deletehttps://matzav.com/the-spiritual-shidduch-crisis/
ReplyDeleteWhy is that ludicrous? What planet are you living on?? Of course it’s greater than it ever was.
ReplyDeleteBecause you lived 200 years ago and you remember the ta'avos of the time.........................
DeleteNo but we know from chazal that previous doros didn’t have the same nisyonos we have today. For example we know the yidden who went out of mitzrayim had a huge yetzer hora for avoda Zara and we totally can’t relate to it because we don’t have that yetzer hora at all. This is basics.
ReplyDeleteAnyway look at what ladies looked like 100 years ago. Does it tempt you?
ReplyDelete50 years from now they'll be saying that about ladies of today
ReplyDeleteYeah you hold they’ll get better?
ReplyDeleteAs society continues to degenerate, not necessarily, although Darwin and all his fans won't like that. The human condition and appearance goes down with it
DeleteSo mr cohen is it kedai to wait a little to get married?
ReplyDeleteIs mr cohen married? I think I have a shidduch for him.
ReplyDelete