2 Menachem Av 5783
Weather: 84° Sunshine and clouds mixed. Areas of smoke and haze are possible, reducing visibility at times. High 84F
- BDE: Petirah of Rav Avrohom Tzvi Kushner Ztl a talmid muvhak of Rav Aharon Kotler zatzal who ran the Lakewood Minyan in Boro Park and was a rebbe. He was ill recently and was niftar in Lakewood
Levaya tonight at the chapel 11:00pm and tomorrow at the Lakewood Minyan in Boro Park
- Senator Chuck Grassley and Rep. James Comer have released the FD-1023 alleging a criminal bribery scheme involving Joe Biden and a Ukrainian executive.
- TAG clarification: A previously conducted interview has recently surfaced, which was recorded prior to the Gedolim's opinion on AI being made public. We remain steadfast in our commitment to following the guidance of the esteemed leaders in Klal Yisrael.
- New York City agreed to pay $13 million to about 1,300 people who were arrested or beaten by police during the summer 2020 George Floyd demonstrations.
- OU response on Sprite zero: "Specific ingredients are proprietary and confidential information. Any ingredient in Sprite or Sprite Zero will come from certified kosher sources".
- Yated: Are Therapists Encouraging “Parental Alienation” therapists respond Read Here
-Campaign in Lakewood to get the local weekly publications that are delivered free to the doors that they have a rabbinic supervision to ensure the ruchniyus level of our families and the community. The signs have contact info to reach the publications.
- Brooklyn assemblyman and activist Dov Hikind has switched parties and is now a republican he wrote on twitter The time has come Because the Dems have turned their back on Jews & Israel, so it's officially done!
- A Powerball player in Los Angeles California won the massive $1.08 billion jackpot. a $50,000 ticket was purchased at 7-Eleven on Route 88 in Point Pleasant
The Mega Millions jackpot is at $740 million with the drawing this Friday night
- Kosher meat prices in the US are expected to skyrocket beginning next week. One of the reasons for the price hike appears to be increasing cattle prices in the US. According to a Feeder Cattle price chart, the price per pound of cattle meat was just around $125 in 2005 and again in 2020 as opposed to the $248/pound selling today. Springfield Wholesale Meat, the biggest kosher meat distributor in the northeastern US, is increasing its prices accordingly. In a message addressed to kosher foods chains, the meat distributor wrote: “Regretably, we have been informed by Solomon’s of a drastic price increase on domestic beef that will be implemented beginning this week.” This price increase is expected to go into effect on Monday, July 24.(INN)
-A private fundraiser for Nikki Haley will take place this Sunday in Deal, NJ with the Syrian Jewish community.
- Hunter Lodge hotel sent out a response defending their action to kick out a frum Lakewood family on shabbos no mention of police escorting them and threatening to arrest
"Unfortunately, there was an isolated incident over the weekend where a large party, including people not staying at the hotel, led to multiple complaints from hotel guests to the staff, including eight guests checking out early from the hotel and requesting refunds.... The hotel staff spoke with the parents nine times and advised that they would need to quiet down the children and supervise them to ensure everyone’s safety and if they were unable to comply, they would be asked to leave the property.... Given the lack of response from the parents and continued disruption, the hotel staff made the difficult decision to evict the group. They felt they had no choice. The hotel issued refunds to the guests who checked out early. They wrote that they are meeting with local leaders to ensure that this community knows they are welcome and feel comfortable at the property in future.’
We need three honest, sonei betzah people, to run for BOE. The next few years will make or break Lakewood. We lose, we will be encumbered with a billion dollars of debt. We win, Lakewood will prosper IY"H for one hundred years. $400 million flows through the BOE, billions over a decade, with no supervision. Every corporation, other than a sole proprietorship, has a board to hold the bosses accountable, but the boss of the largest organization in Lakewood controls the board. The organization does not exist for the patronage and pleasure of one man. It has become a culture of fear that rewards its 700 employees for staying below the radar, its superintendent for submissiveness and mediocrity, while it punishes those that exhibit leadership and innovation. To the extent that Lakewood is unique, we need to think out of the box. Please contact me. Aaron Lang
ReplyDeleteWhat are the requirements to run?
DeleteSonei kavod too
DeleteSince while in office they will be torn to pieces
The Hamon will only come to miss & appreciate them after they have left office
They won't be torn to pieces. Fixing the formula is the holy grail of Lakewood and they will be heroes. No one goes to BOE members anymore for help. Everything is in the hands of general counsel. I know the system inside and out and will personally represent them. All my conversations will be privileged. They will not be misled by baloney the general counsel gives them, who anyway is the person with the patronage. The district will become an engine of growth and opportunity for all of Lakewood.
DeleteSupposedly BOE members were told that they had to oppose me on the inadequate education issue because they would stop getting loans. It's totally not true, and if it was, the state would be giving us immediate victory because the loans are the State's only defense. Everyone knows this and but your BOE does not know how stupid it is to think the state would stop the loans before the case is over.
DeleteWith all due respect to the Yated article about Parent Alienation — while certainly a good start and a step in the right direction, it still does not really address the issue at hand. The problem with the article is that it was written by other therapists. At the end of the day, a therapist remains a therapist. Like any other medical professional, some are good and some are bad. So while these are better than those, they still view everything from a textbook perspective which won’t accomplish anything. Because at the end of the day, it all depends on each case. Some cases are warranted, they’ll say. The issue at hand which must be addressed is the chomer hainyan of Kibbud av, and the corrupt Rabbis (and in many cases, “Roshei Yeshiva”) who single-handedly created this issue in the first place. These were the ones who, instead of consulting real Da’as Torah, they sen their Talmidim off to therapists. So they are a major part of this issue and that must be addressed. To have a more qualified therapist speak about it will not help in the long run.
ReplyDeleteThe yated response is a joke. Until they get a competent Rav to respond and address the issue it is pointless. These therapists are defending the alienation and deflecting the criticism.
DeleteThe issue with Rabbonim who estrange children from parents is that they are shopped for. A person who wishes to cut off contact from his/her parents/inlaw, either on their own or on the advice of a therapist, will shop around to find a 'rav' who will permit this. This 'rav' is often a wet behind the ears kid, who is happy someone finally asked his opinion. He qualifies his opinion with the teirutz that he didn't speak to both sides, and he isn't sure, but the person has his/her 'heter' in place.
ReplyDeleteThat is the true danger.
If the child asks a Rav, who refuses to allow it, he needs to stop shopping for someone else. He needs to accept the psak just like it was about a pot that became treif.
This is 100% true.
DeleteVery true. I am in a support group for people who grew up with parental emotional neglect, run by a frum therapist. Not one of the people in the group has cut off a parent (and some of their stories are truly shocking). B'derech sheadam rotze leileoch...
DeleteThese therapists are experts in covering themselves up. The responding therapists in the Yated are just as guilty. Just because they use a proffesinal lingo doesnt mean they are clean. At the end of the day it is the thetapists that enables the alienation.
ReplyDeleteUntil very recently children, adults and juveniles alike did not cut off ties with a parent.
It wasn't until modern psychology crept into our lives and introduced terms like boundary crossing etc. This gave therapists a license to help their client "understand" their feeling.
The therapist now gives strength to the innocent client to RIP themselves away
From their flesh and soul/their patents.
It is you the therapist who planted the idea in the child head. You hold his hand to help him commit this crime with an everlasting damage to the child.
Will a therapist help a child pull out a gun to kill his mother " if that what needs to be done" in "certain situations" (of course).
The therapist can always say that it wasn't her idea she just helped the child to get what he needs. Don't worry Daas Torah will be involved. Leave it up to the frum therapist.
"The responding therapists in the Yated are just as guilty." It seems like you saw one of them. Are you the child, parent or are you just some anonymous hack?
Delete"Until very recently children, adults and juveniles alike did not cut off ties with a parent." It seems like we got a historian here.
You sarcasm doesn't justify your ignorance.
DeleteFact are facts.
The therapists who defend their buddy therapists are enabling this cruelty to go on.
Alienation is a new concept orchestrated by modern day thetapists aka soul robbers andv kidnappers.
Doesn't justify what ignorance? Please be specific.
DeleteSurprised the yated published this without any haskama from a Rav. These therapists have no say in the sugya.
ReplyDeleteAny rav who alienates a family without speaking to all sides and going in front of a bais din of 3 is equally guilty as the therapist and asid litein es hadin
DeleteWhatever happened with the shidduch initiative?
ReplyDeleteThe frum publications all claim to have anonymous days Torah behind them but cowardly won't say who they ask. The frum websites are pure filth and garbage it's shocking that the mosdos advertise on them
ReplyDeleteYour extreme language is ridiculous. What ‘garbage and filth’ is in the Voice? BP? Mishpacha? Calm down.
DeleteThe websites are filth and garbage but the publications and not far behind printing garbage serials about messed up families disgusting gashmiyis ads news articles that are not for our children to read advertising podcasts that rabbinic prohibited, advertising video streaming websites that were never permitted, advertising Jowma , the recent column that made fun of Lakewood poor with letters criticizing mocking the kollel way of life while cheering on others who live beyond their means.
DeleteThe list goes on and on people have had enough if not for long shabbos afternoons these would all be used to wrap fish
It is not just the free publications that need to be under rabbinical supervision, in order to protect our families. The paid ones need to be rabbinically supervised as well.
ReplyDeleteIt's unfortunately similar to sad investment schemes. They often start off with serious, legitimate and sincere intentions. When issues , which they didn't ask for, come up they begin doing things which are simply wrong. It starts ever so slowly, for a very short amount of time.....
So tag was for it before they were against it and then the rabbis tell us to consult tag but tag has to consult the rabbis which way is it going? We're not talking about opinions here we're talking about facts. So the facts have to fit the narrative!
ReplyDeleteCan someone please explain what the parents are doing to help the situation, instead of just blaming the therapists? Is there anything the parents can do? Perhaps they can learn how to respect boundaries?
ReplyDeleteNobody was suggesting that there was no reason for the alienation.
DeleteThe thing is, the Torah didn't go to sleep. Even when the parents are wrong, the Torah commanded Kibud Av. Which is why your comment is out of place.
What a silly comment! They are blaming the therapists precisely because there’s nothing they can do. This “respecting boundaries” garbage is exactly the issue, not the solution, if you haven’t noticed.
DeleteIt's much easier to blame everything on a rogue therapist than to accept responsibility and admit that you failed your child as a parent.
Delete
ReplyDeleteThe fault goes way beyond therapists
Therapists are useful [idiot] props for those who orchestrate a system
eg therapists & social workers in places like Canada who helpfully encourage old/sick people for much better peace for their sake of their families & serenity to arrange for MAID
Imagine an adult who never had an emotional connection with her parents. Her mother was always very self-centered, and never recognized the needs of the child. She was hyper-critical about everything, and the daughter always resented it.
ReplyDeleteShe hopes that when she gets married, her life will be in her hands, and she won't suffer as much. But her mother continues to criticize everything she does, and she dreads it every time she visits her mother.
She needs an eitzah, doesn't she?
Imagine a daughter who is married some years, and her mother begins a physical deterioration. She needs help with physical functions, and every visit from her daughter takes physical and emotional energy from her.
She needs an eitzah, doesn't she?
Why does society tell the second one about the gevaldige zechus of Kibud Em, even when it's hard, and the first one is advised to cut off 'for her own emotional sanity'? A person can write, without shame, that she cut off ties 'to become a better person, parent and wife'. Hello! The Torah said כבד את אביך ואת אמך, it doesn't say 'be the best you can be'.
It seems that the Torah is not consulted at all.
Comes along some חכם and tells the mother to stop criticizing. Of course she should stop! Izz voss? That doesn't change the Halacha of the child.
Therapists estrange young children form their parents.
DeleteTherapists brainwash their clients that all their problems are attributed to their parents.
Therapists create the problem they blame it on he clients upbring and then encourage cutting off from parents.
Well meaning parents who do what's best for the children and send them to therapy get slapped in the face by robbing their relationship with children.
Don't tell us words like abuse, control, hurt, ruining sholom bayis or boundary crossing.
Therapists make diagnosis by believing the child without meeting the parents. Naïve Rabonim tend to believe professional therapists.
Thus the alienation begins which effects the child for life and the life of their offspring's.
Besides the fact the the child will lose any chance to be able to be mekayim the essential mitzva of kibud av vaim.
Therapists are people who took a course and got a license to control people.
The so called frum therapists are even worse because frum Jews don't do Messira so the therapist can do what she or he wishes. They get so much pleasure and satisfaction by doing brain control.
I am amazed at the naivete here. The halacha is that כיבוד אב משל אב
ReplyDeleteNo parent has a right to abuse a child or hurt a marriage. It's a two way street. I don't know why anyone can hide behind frumkeit here... any parent who hurts a child shouldn't be all that proud...
Just to clarify, the question here was not about who should pay for anything. משל אב is not relevant.
DeleteA parent may not abuse a child. A child must honor a parent, even if the parent abuses/abused him/her.
ReplyDeleteI think some parents should be more aware of the halacha in shulchan aruch אסור לאדם להכביד עולו על בניו in יו"ד סימן רמ instead of always talking about the mitzvah of כיבוד אב ואם , and alot of these situations would be much better !
Pure amaratzus! what does that have to do with anything? Amazing how all these bashers on hefkervelt all of the sudden either become world class poskim or professional clinical therapists, it's unreal! We know all comments of such nature come from unstable people who are estranged from their parents. Nothing will stop us. We will prevail and expose this massive scandal plaguing our community!
DeletePure stubbornness!!
DeleteNothing will stop you? sounds very rigid. Your ranting sounds like someone who their child wouldn't want to have anything to do with them.
DeleteYou talk like a therapist and a megalomaniac the slightest issue like someone ranting equals that his children should Alicante themselves.
DeleteThis Rabbosei is a perfect example of how far and low the therapists will go to rip children away from a parent because he sounds rigid
Not because you're rigid but because you're a raving lunatic. I'd cut off contact with you without ever consulting a therapist or rav. You're a complete banana.
DeleteI keep on hearing about this alienation stuff here. Is it really happening so often?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, there’s no issue in cutting off contact with a parent. R’ Tarfon did it! Kibbud is only relevant when your in touch with them. Cut off contact, and the mitzvah simply doesn’t come into play. Nowhere is a chiyuv stated to call or visit a parent. If you happen to be near them, then you must be mechabed them.
Okay, will get a therapist to your kids head asap, you will lose contact forever. All good - there's no issue at all! Have a nice day.
DeleteAfrah L'Pumei!! And by the way, cutting off would be a gross violation of Kibbud Av -- by your very own definition! What if your parents call you and would like to speak with you? Then Kibbud av applies 100% according to you, since you have to be mechabed them. So how does "cutting off" work exactly? Hence, your words are nothing but foolish, ועל זה נאמר "there's dumb and then there's dumber".
Deleteעיין משנה ברורה סי' שא סק"י ובביאור הלכה שם
DeleteTo all parents ranting here, you are 100% correct. It is terrible and unacceptable! But let’s take a step back. Do we want to be dead right? Or do we want our children to talk to us ? If we want to be right let’s keep ranting and creating kol korehs. But if we want our children back, let’s take a look at ourselves. Let’s see what we can do to make that happen. Not because we’ve done something wrong. But because we want our children and grandchildren back. Let’s be bekabel to only speak positive about our children even between spouses. Even if our children aren’t talking to us. And we will see changes at least in our own hearts and maybe even hashem willing our children will come back. Amen
ReplyDeleteMy children all talk to me, B"H.
DeleteI am not angry or upset with the child who cuts off ties with their parents, even though they are quite likely doing an issur.
I am angry with the phoney 'rav' who permits it, I am angry with the therapist who encourages it. I am angry with the system that permits it.
a child who cuts off from his parent in our frum society does it as the very last last resort because there are so many reasons why it is socially excruciating to do so in our society. there is so much pressure from the child's spouse children neighbors relatives to look normal. and you think you will force them and pressure them to be mekayim the mitzvah of kibud av?? you think they didn't think of that yet ?? they had tons of pressure and still cut off!! so foolish !!
DeleteConvince me that your kids are still talking to you. Hysterical. You act like a raving lunatic and nothing you write can be taken seriously.
DeleteThe yated piece is a desperate attempt and a preemptive measure by the indu$try to soften the blow when a letter from gedolim in Eretz Yisroel is supposed to come out and there's a meeting planned for next week in Lakewood about ahe alienation mageifa. They could not find a Rav to write or even approve of what they
ReplyDeleteIt seems that there is someone here who wasn't allowed to use the word 'raving lunatic' as a child, so he/she comes here to use it as often as possible.
ReplyDeleteWishing you all the best. Just stand in your bedroom and say over the words 'raving lunatic' 40 times a day for 40 days, and the yeshua will come. Guaranteed!
Problem is far larger & cuts much further underneath the whole therapy style
ReplyDeleteIt's also about Sibling alienation; therapist worshipping of boundaries; enmeshment; interdependence!
Parental alienation is the wedge issue for now
Wider even than all those
ReplyDeleteBut epess for an inherent start
Can there have been anyone from past generations who ever became a tzadek(es) & baal(as) Chessed who was concerned for others overstepping their boundaries
DeleteYes ! Because you can’t do chesed if you’re stepped on and have no self worth
ReplyDeleteThe fomer has in normal circumstances zero connection with the latter.
DeleteIf/when it does, the problem is you.Rather the strawman Other(eg sibling). Daresay that in such conditions you won't afterwards be a bonafide baal Chessed
So in short constricting others & causing them to suffer makes you feel better
Delete