Finally a grassroot organization to help children who were alienated from their parents.
Last night a meeting was held in Lakewood It was the groundbreaking for the Broken Ties organization that was established a few months ago in Brooklyn and other communities.
The home was full with fathers, mothers, Grandfathers and grandmothers whose children/grandchildren were alienated.
A Rosh yeshiva shlita was the guest speaker. and gave chizuk to these parents
The house was full with parents, most of them divorced and some were married couples whose child was alienated from them. there were more women than men as the plague of alienation applies to mothers just as much as fathers.
After the Rosh Yeshiva’s talk was over parents who are suffering got a chance to meet other parents in the same situation. This was a big chizuk for everyone who was there. People shared stories and brainstormed suggestion how to get the children back and prevent this to happen to anyone else in the future. Men and women from the finest mishpochos were there. The same way it happened to them it can happened to any innocent family. So this is a catastrophe that should touch the entire community.
The biggest topic that was discussed was about therapists that are the ones who guide children to leave his or her parents either both of them or one of them. It was discussed that therapists tend to be the advocate and lawyer for the child. so, the Therapist is working for the benefit of the child and if it will be better for the child to be distant from the parent the therapist will coach him to alienate.
Some therapists wouldn't tell the child openly how bad his parents are. But if a child has some form of difficulty in life or a form of a mental illness instead of helping the child grow and cope, the therapist will dig into the child's life and go back many years until the child will remember that his parent did something embarrassing or discomforting to the child. They will dwell on that incident, analyze it and repeat it several times. The child relives it in his mind and emotions. At that point the child gets upset and all works up. The therapist says to the child "you are suffering now because of that story" " you are lacking in confidence and self-respect” You must take care of yourself first before anyone else. "By being with your parents you are having anxiety which is not good for you and can damage you permanently."
At that point the respected therapist in the community gets in touch with askanim and the child is ripped away from her parents and siblings. They grow older, they get married and grandparents don't know who their grandchildren are.
. The umos haolom have no shaychus to the concept of kibud av at all. And they encourage children should be free and independent to lead their own life without parents and family. Unfortunately this ideology and concept seeped in to our community.
It was mentioned by several people that not all therapists are bad but every incident of alienation was conducted by a different therapist. Even in divorce cases where one parent alienates the children from the other parent a therapist is always involved to assist with the alienation.
This is the first gathering in Lakewood to help children and parents reunite and also to prevent these situations from happening in the future. There are far more people in Lakewood who are suffering from parental alienation, much more than the 80 people who attended this meeting. And the idea is to this matter the awareness befitted for such a catastrophe. As the RY said earlier in the evening we should be zoche to והשיב לב אבות על בנים ולב בנים על אבותם
Submitted.
How many of these alienated parents gave their child unconditional love and accepted their child for who they are. My 21 year old's lifestyle is light years away from mine. Yet, we have a close relationship. We basically don't tell the child anything. In front of the child we compliment their clothing choices and behind their back we gag. But the child is part of our shabbos table and part of the family
ReplyDeleteYour mamash a Tzadik, Nistar.
DeleteYou should really tell us you name so we can all learn from you.
Anon 12:45 - trust me your child knows that you gag. You don't give them unconditional love, you pretend to. You don't love that child as he/she is, you are using this as a tactic to bring them back.
Delete2:35
DeleteMy child obviously doesnt sense that we gag. That was the whole point of my comment. The fact that we have such close relationship makes it obvious that we learnt how to make the child feel like a million bucks over their wacky hairstyle etc while "behind our bedroom door" we gag over it.
The writer who says the parent is at fault is obviously DOES NOT UNDERSTAND what parental alienation is.
DeletePA is when someone is deliberately brainwashed to feel resentment towards a parent. And to have fear of the parent.
A Child ( not necessarily meaning someone very young) is being Abused. The perpetrator can be a parent, a therapist, a Rabbi, a sibling, a friend, a spouse... Basically anyone that wants to ruin a Relationship.
Sometimes it is purely innocent. The one causing the alienation is being fed lies about the parent. The lies are told without the "targeted parent" being present and therefore they cannot correct the lies.
Another thing , the child often has been fed lies. And repeatedly told negative things about the parent. The alienator (the other parent or whomever is the initialalienator) is brainwashing the child and rewriting the history of that child's childhood. It is a cult mentality.
So when you hear that someone is not talking to their parent be suspicious that the person was alienated because it is extremely unnatural to cut off a parent.
i think it would it be more correct to label this situation as
ReplyDeleteparents who are alienated from their children, and not the other way around.
as it is the child who decided to end the relationship,
so why are they consistintly referring to this situation in this article as children alienated from parents ?
the child decided to cut off, not the parents, the question they need to address is why would the child want to do that.
12:56
DeleteMy theory is because the parents have very little understanding of their child and think they can treat these kids like their others. Nuh uh. It doesnt work like that
There are 2 terms for cutting off. If a child did actually initiate the cutting off totally on their own (without a therapists help, without brainwashing from the other parent/spouse/sibling etc) It is called ESTRANGEMENT.
DeleteParental Alienation is when a person is fed lies and caused to resent (hate) and have fear of the "targeted " parent for NO valid reason. The child (can be an adult chikd) is being fed lies and being brainwashed hence the term "alienated "
Was rachel wrong for being "alienated" for many years from her father to marry rabbi akiva? Was elazer ben hyrcanus wrong for running away from home? Was rav nassan adler wromg for taking the chasam sofer away from his home? Was chizkiyahu wromg for what he did to his father? We have a mesorah of "alienation" for some valid reasons.
ReplyDeleteWhile by and large we do not understand these things- they certainly were not "Alienated" due to a personal vendetta/divorce etc.!!!
DeleteIn all those cases they were adults making a decision not have ties with or to run away from their parents.
DeleteIn the case of Rachel it was her father who broke the relationship (and then regretted it even before he realized she was married to Rav Akiva) Ditto for Rav Elazer Ben Horkenos. His father cut him out of the estate. He wasn’t looking for a fight. His father also came to regret it.
DeleteChezkiah did not get into a personal fight with father over alleged mistreatment. Etc.
We have a mesorah alienation like we have a mesora of listening to egotistical therapists
It was Lakewood that caused all these problems
ReplyDeleteThey gave every lady that wanted a Heter Arkous to go to court and get restraining orders against the Father and Husband
Thus by Branding their Ex Husbands and the Father of their Children as Criminlas
Yes everyone used to become Speech Therapists but now they become Social Workers. As a SW they are qualified to make such decisions.
DeleteExactly! Not every case is because of a therapist. Could also be the attorney urging wife to use it as a tactic to get more $. Either way it's used so much more now to gain leverage in divorces. It's disgusting and the Rabonim must put a stop to it. Maybe, just a suggestion here. That if a women is alienating kids from the father then she should be banned from getting her Gett until it's resolved and it should be a mitzva to publicize the fact that she did this to avoid having her do this again to the next guy (i was my exes second husband that she did this to) Lo Saamod Al Dam ReiEcha!
DeleteMost of these alienation cases are sanctioned by frum therapists and bais din in divorce cases. Is is a churban that is unimaginable! Every child needs two parents. If they can't get along, so be it, don't destroy children!!
ReplyDeleteChashuvim and so called "Askonim" have blood on their hands!
Before you hire a therapist find out how well his relationship with his father and mother is. If not you'll be sorry.
We have become a society where this terrible abuse is prevalent. Almost every divorce case has a "Rov" or therapist that buys into one side of the story. We as a society need to shout out in one voice "Kabeid Es Ovicha V'es Imecha" no exceptions!
We need to root out the therapists that encourage these practices but even more so we must educate Rabbonim, therapists and Askonim that when they hear one side claiming "Abuse" "Mental Health" "order of protection" "Bi-Polar" etc. they need to say to that side "He/She is also a parent and the greatest abuse you can do to your child is to alienate them from a parent"
Rav Brog as well as Rav Simcha Bunim Cohen have recently spoke out very strongly regarding this topic. Kain Yirbu!
are you saying we need to educate rabbonim not to listen to lashon hara? to adhere to "שמוע בין אחיכם"? Actually maybe that is why despite "דרכיה דרכי נועם" we still have all these problems. Has anyone ever encountered a Rav or Bais Din who actually cared about the above issues?
DeleteMust be a coincidence that שמוע בין אחיכם appears in the Parsha that always precedes Tisha B'av and see Rashi on ואשימם.
DeleteVery good points here.
DeleteChild alienation is probably one of the biggest kitrug on klal yisrael these days. This is retzicha We are creating hundreds of living yesomim with our own hands robbing children of their parents of their childhood scarring them for life.
ReplyDeleteThe silence of the community to speak out is deafening but the biggest purpatraitors are the therapists and mental health agencies who are pushing it and profiting of this.
Any therapist school principle Rav or askan who is responsible in alienating children should know it will be on record. The public should be aware of their actions
Someone once compared the Ocean County Family courts to BMG during First Seder (when lakewood was under the Hold of a Previous Bais Din which is basically defunct these days which I will not name )
ReplyDeleteSo many Frum Yidden there
All the comments above are discussing an unrelated topic.
ReplyDeleteThis kinus was for parents of adult children who alienate themselves (and their children) from their parents, not for minor children who are alienated by courts.
Wrong! This kinus was for parents of children who were alienated from their parents, by therapists by a parent or for any other reason.
DeleteThe article says that most were parents were divorced.
DeleteIt is more common when there is a divorce that 1 parent will brainwash the children against the other parent.
DeleteIt is heartbreaking that children are being used as pawns to hurt. Additionally, this is emotional child abuse.a child naturally feels love to both their parents , even in cases of abuse. If someone is not talking to their parent it should be a red flag that they were alienated from the parent.
The best disinfectant is sunlight. People think they won't have to face public opinion because their parents will be too embarrassed to discuss the point. When this is brought out into the public, they won't be so quick to act like this.
ReplyDeleteSadly, many people have branded themselves poskim and therefore think they can ignore halacha. A father or mother who does something nasty to their child, is still a father/mother. Just like if a lulav pokes you in the eye, it is still a lulav. The Torah taught us how to treat a father or mother, and that does not change if a parent does something that the child does not like.
ReplyDeleteIronically, we have some people who believe that if a parent marries someone who is the complete opposite of the deceased parent, they are somehow standing up for the kavod of the deceased one. They step on the mitzva of kavod for the living, for some strange view of the kavod of the dead. The Torah tells us what happens to a person who honors his father and mother, Rashi says there מכלל הן אתה שומע לאו.
The Torah also says a woman must marry her rapist
DeleteFalse false false!!! the woman may force him to marry her, she HAS a choice, HE does not have a choice
DeleteAnon 7:05 - the Torah certainly does not. You need to learn more. It says that a rapist must marry his victim. She has the full right to refuse.
DeleteBut if you were right, does that mean that the Torah is irrelevant and wrong? If so, you should be the poster child for the parental alienation society. Your slogan should be 'reject your parents, and the Torah too'. It will show us your true colors.
Does not say any such thing. It says that he must marry her if SHE wants. The choice is hers.
DeleteThat is a lie! The תורה NEVER said that! Only when there was consent & only IF the woman wants the future relationship!
DeleteFalse and ignorant
Deleteyou obviously have no clue
she does not have to marry her rapist. He has to marry her if and only if that's her wish
The idea of the torah is to prevent the rapist from raping as in most cases the rapist rapes the vulnerable the trodden the outcast , thinking there will be no reprocussions .. the torah says you will have to make her your wife if she so desires and live with the consequences of your actions all your life
DeleteWhat if every time I bring my children to my father, he screams at them and traumatizes them (like he did to me and continues to do to my mother and siblings)? Should I continue to bring my young children to my parents, or should I just stop coming and hope things one day get better?
ReplyDeleteThere are eitzos, albeit not comfortable ones. But as soon as the option of cutting off ties becomes viable, nobody is motivated to search for an eitza
DeleteWhat are the eitzos? We're waiting to hear! Sometimes the only eitza is to stop going altogether. Children shouldn't have to experience their grandfather's verbal abuse if their parents have a way to prevent it.
DeleteSadly many parents are the cause, and they facilitate the cutting of the ties they then go under the disguise of “parents alienated by children”
ReplyDeleteUntil 30 years ago the method of chinuch was with PETCH. for hundreds of generations children got petch from parents. It feels like light years away but most of today's parents grew up with petch. And mind you not every time the petch came out of love. Some parents were tzadikim and the children felt pure love in every smack. But the majority get real petch.
DeleteChildren knew their place and there was a structure with a father/mother child relationship which was untouchable.
The big problem is when a child is taught to discard the father mother structure.
People are not perfect Don't say that parents are the cause. This is the lingo of therapist and social workers in the Sigmund Floyd school. In the Torah Hakdosha Pasrents are PARENTS.
"Petch" is not allowed during three weeks. See SA.
Deletean adult child has only one set of parents, and it's terribly embarrassing in frum society to cut off from his or her parents,
ReplyDeleteso if he does so, there may be a very good reason, the parent should think long and hard about what that reason could be.
sometimes the parent may have to choose between his belief system, mesorah, hakpados, you name it etc. and his child, because sometimes he can't have both.
Interesting, does the Torah not have something to say about the topic? If the Torah says כבד את אביך not כבד את בנך, should that not carry some weight?
DeletePeople wake up this meeting was not for those parents who are alienated by their children due to the fighting the spouses have this meeting was for those hero parents who gave their life and blood for their kids who one day these selfish kids wake up and say you know what my childhood was not perfect whose fault was that obviously my parents who struggled so hard to give their children love a roof hot meals all the while killing themselves to make a Parnasa at the same time bringing up a large family and these selfish kids then have the audacity to get a therapist or rabbi to tell them of course alienate your parents it's their fault Shame on these people who are murdering these parents and let's applaud these wonderful parents who gave it all up for their kids who are now suffering unimaginable pain
ReplyDeleteYes yes yes. When will this end. Today purim felt like dying. She the spoiled rotten brat. Dressed like a .........and went to terrible places cut off for years
DeleteWe just witnessed such a tragedy, the Lakewood connection to the Champlain Towers we should wake up Teshuva!
ReplyDeleteAll these "Teshuva wake up callers" should PLEASE do teshuva and get off the internet ASAP and let us live in peace
DeleteEveryone here must be such wonderful parents. They all know exactly what the reasons are and what the parents did wrong.
ReplyDelete3:36
DeleteAt least some of us are "parents in the parsha"
The therapists mentioned in this piece are doing HALF A JOB. My wife too, had parent issues. Her wonderful therapist helped her identify that her issues are a result of not good parenting, and then walked her through the healing process. Was it easy? Of course not. Were there times that my wife was so angry at her parents that she didn’t even want to look at them? Of course! It’s normal as part of the healing process. But the therapist stood with her and worked with her to the point that by now, she had a CLOSE relationship with her parents.
ReplyDeleteShame on theses therapists that do a half a job. They take the easy way out instead of doing the tough stuff and actually helping and improving their clients lives.
My wife stopped talking to her parents and it was the best thing for her , there is alot of narcissism within the frum community and the fact we worship what other people think about us is proof to that , my shver called r dovid feinstein , so r dovid called me and he told me you don't have to have anything to do with them but you have to invite them to your simchas so thats what we do
DeleteMost parents sacrifice alot for their children. They may not be the most perfect but DO NOT DESERVE their children to be taught self centered behavior by therapist, or friend, or 1 parent using the child as a pawn to hurt the other.
ReplyDeleteIt is unhealthy for a child to rewrite their history and be brainwashed to think the parent(s) were neglectful, abusive etc. It causes psychological damage and Ch"v can carry on with these alienated children being cut off by their very own children.
Therapist need to help their clients accept whatever incident that were not perfect are sent from Hashem. To learn forgiveness and acceptance towards parents and most of all to have Hakaras HaTov for all the parents gave and gave. Wake up! Teach children that Hashem forgives and they have to learn to find a way to have a relationship.
Maybe next there will be an asifa for children with parents who cut connections with them and alienated their children.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.linkedin.com/posts/avrohom-w-3663881aa_change-leadership-empathy-activity-6820706869338771456-KDl7
ReplyDeleteObviously there are a lot of feelings here that's why there are so many comments.
ReplyDeleteAs a child who was alienated by one of his parents, I can say that it's foolish to try to generalize.
In my case there was no therapist Askan or Rabbonim. Just a really unwell parent.
Say what you want... Judging people is just dumb...try to listen and help... That's enough
You are 100% right and I commend you for your strength and bravery.
DeleteThese comments making light of the issue is most probably coming from therapists who feel their game is up or from those who are gaining financially by having the children come to them for therapy services
ReplyDeleteThere are 3 distinct characteristics of a brainwashed alienated child in divorces (as opposed to estranged-one who cut themselves out)
ReplyDelete#1. The child has not 1 good thing to say about the parent. It is hard to believe that a person cannot find something the parent did that was positive. Basically cult mentality. They are taught to be resentful and scared of the scapegoated (good) parent
#2. They cut off other family membersas well. For example If they are not speaking to the mother they don't speak to aunts, unckes, Grandparents, cousins from the targeted parents side. What did these relatives do to be cut off?
#3. They have high regard for the parent that is the alienator. They have only praise for that parent and see him also as a victim of the targeted scapegoated parent.
The parent who is being targeted (cut off) is usually the good, healthy parent. The one that loves the child unconditionally. The other parent is often narcissistic personality and is not well.
I agree to all your symptoms' however " The parent who is being targeted (cut off) is usually the good, healthy parent. The one that loves the child unconditionally. The other parent is often narcissistic personality and is not well" not always the case
DeleteShlomo Hamelech said. The real mother does what’s best for her child. She will sacrifice her relationship not to harm her biological child.
DeleteThe phoney mother will cut up her child emotionally leaving a scar by alienating the child from the other parent.
Unordinary there is a belief that the adults should believe the child's perception no matter what. some parents are willing to crush their own children just to hurt their spouse.
Unfortunately therapists and rabonim take sides and the alkanium implement the decree.
Todays children spoiled. Period. Then when u say no. Its a tragedy
DeleteTherapists in our town should need an Ishur demonstrating that they actually heal people & bring families together rather than convincing people to alienate their family members. Maybe someone wants to create an organization...
ReplyDeleteThe job of a therapist is to do what’s best for the client - not what’s best for the family. So if a therapist needs to get an ishur that s/he will do what’s best for the family and not what’s best for the client then the therapist is automatically disqualified from practicing, because s/he neglects to keep the clients best interest in mind.
DeleteTherapists do require an ishur. It’s called a license to practice, supervision and ongoing training.
DeleteThere are very rare extreme cases when children are removed and placed in foster care but that has nothing to do with the standard alienation that is rampant in frum communities because of therapists who destroy families just so they look good by scapegoating a parent they are trained with goyish hashkafos were kibud Av Veim does not exist
ReplyDeletePerhaps Its time those of us who want to be parents take a parenting course and take a bechina
ReplyDeleteBefore they start a family!
In this New World Order we are not ready and often caught by surprise by how much hard (gratifying) work it takes to be a successful parent. Parenting is a humbling experience.
Too much advice Too little advice mostly too late advice. I have yet to see a parent who is truly moser nefesh to build a bayis neman , fail to earn the love of their children although the parent may struggle as aall of us do. Theres no mitzvah to love your parents only to honor them. Love is earned the hard way. Very hard way the way our parents did with complete mesiras nefesh to Build and train by example mostly. Stay up nights saying tehillim and beseeching H. For siyata dishmaya. Also raising children is only successful if its selfless and totally unselfish. Otherwise its a crime to become a parent.
The key is in al titosh toras imecha
Hitler uemach shemo destroyed that mesora. how many of us grew up (if we actually did grow up) without grand parents let alone great grandparents.
Its us the parents who need the constant training and chizuk and advice and perhaps CHINUCH IN HOW TO KEEP IMPROVING OUR PARENTING.
its not a natural skill especially for those of us with bad meedus gava tava etc Allowing ourselves to bring moods home from work or yeshiva
Children are born children not adults they dont automatically love us , they may depend on us and even fear us. But love is learned and earned. A parent is very much studied and very deeply studied by the child. Hashems mitzva of veahavto es H. E. Is H. Saying to “adults raised by parents “ to hear Hashems call “study me study my Teachings , my behavior my Attitudes emulate me explore my Torah Discover me “ if one does so , they will love H. For Hashems selflessness , caring for us giving us the opportunity to achieve all our own desires etcc
Our children do the same to us parents. They study they feel ea. And every second we give them or dont give them. Parents who are not masiach das of this will earn childs love, how can the child not love a parent who puts allthe childs needs above all else. if there are a excess of broken homes in our Torah community called klall yisroel then yes i vote newly weds or about to be wed be counseled and guided and get the blessings of those who can bless them. Not just having children bec. Everyone does bec. My parents want grandchildren bec im competing with my friends or siblings. Look at the unfortunate couple who cannot bear children and how they yearn to be moser nefesh to give their lives to their unbegotten children. They would never take their children for granted even for one split second. Just like its a mitzvah to get married, one should not get divorced unless its a mitzvah to get divorced , if you dont agree thats fine just dont become parents.
There are no bad children without bad parenting.
Parents have to be ready to die for their children let alone give up a vacation or even a phone call for their children.
And if you feel you werent raised properly dont get off on the wrong foot dont become parents unless you are trained and have access es to around the week guidance. AL TITOSH TORAS EMECHA!!!
HASHEM gave Parents have a natural ability to raise children no bechina or test required
DeleteYou have the ability to create them, not everyone has the ability to raise them.
DeleteWhen a parent marries a second spouse, there are halachos involved. A child is obligated to show honor to the wife of his/her father and the husband of his/her mother. When adult children have a hissy fit and refuse to accept that new member of the family, they are going against the Torah. When they reject their parent for that reason, they are going against the Torah. And endangering their own אריכות ימים. A therapist who facilitates this, is going against the Torah. When they die, they will be expecting a double portion of olam haba for all of the people they 'helped'. They might be in for a nasty shock.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with therapists is, any yenta can take a course and become one. There is little oversight, and when problems arise, they tend to be dismissed because the client won't be believed.
ReplyDeleteAny therapist that works alone, without someone on top of them, should be suspect. They can get away with anything. Additionally, anyone who did not take a formal course, should also be suspect. They did not take the subject seriously enough to invest in real training. Those people are often arrogant yentas who claim to know better as they krich into your kishkes.
To summarize, take a trained therapist, who has someone looking over their shoulder.
There are two brothers in town that have alienated twenty children with their full family backing as they walk around like accepted members of society. This is insane and while the abuser many times cannot be stopped, the family who are enablers must stop the abusers.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading the last 44 comments, I came to realize that we really need to Daven that Reb Mattisyahu should have a Refuah Sh'laima, as when he was in control, a therapist would need to get his Haskama for alienation or he would lose his clients!
ReplyDelete@4:30am 'in control' sick comment.
Delete
DeleteAll the years there were extreme situations where parents who were not fit to raise children. There was a system in place for everyone's good. That was done with great thought with all parties involved and children were in a system. But What we see today how any therapist has an opinion that carries weight that was unheard of.
He was “in control”? Was he the therapy czar?
ReplyDeleteHe was a leader. People accepted his words as lishmah
ReplyDeleteAnonymousJuly 13, 2021 at 12:45 PM
ReplyDeleteTHERE has to be borders
Judaism does believe in Ben Sorer U'Moreh of 13 years old
can we have Rumspringa
teenagers do whatever they wish for a few years ?
on the contrary we haven't in our faith
children have to know that this world has a purpose and there are absolute limits just as we would presume you wouldn't tolerate if your kid go murder your neighbor
or smash your neighbor's car
It's possible you do quite well with this difficult situation but hairstyles and clothing while big to the outside is rather limited
The title is incorrect
ReplyDeleteIt should read
Children are being alienated from their Parents. A movement had been created to try and stop this! Children are being brainwashed to cut their parents off
Without an official survey, I bet that most people and therapists do the right thing. But then there are that small percentage who do nutty things, or behave badly. A trained therapist's job is to help a person figure out what they want to do, and then help the person see the ramifications of those choices. And then to support the person in the choice they made.
ReplyDeleteTherapists know that family alienation is an extreme action that if done will have impact on the rest of one's life. and yet sometimes it is still the right thing to do. Sometimes it's a matter of pikuach nefesh.
And please, if you have a serious problem, go to a trained therapist, a licensed social worker or psychologist.
coaches are not trained the same way. A coach is great to help implement an exercise plan, or organizing time or space. They are trained cheerleaders, rather than trained listeners
DeleteIt's interesting that you claim it is only a small percentage.
In all cases of alienation are mostly facilitated by therapists. These are cases from different countries, cities, and communities.
You write that:
a trained therapist's job is to help a person figure out what they want to do.
That is not the chinuch for children. What this trained therapist will do is plant ideas in the child's mind that will ruin her life. and then you have the audacity and the chutzpa to support the child in the choice they made. THe choise to murder people the choise to rob, cheat and murder people...
THe choice to take yiddishkeit easy.
who gave the MSW, LXCW, the authority to violate the Torah ?
You are justifying your malicious actions on your training. If anyone will realize how much garbage is in your head they will vomit. You and your co therapists are ruining klal yisroel and you make money from it and you sleep at night peacefully?
DeleteMost people fail/ everyone means well but most people don't always do what's right. Anyone with power is in a much worse position because their power gets to their head.
An individual can be right and can be wrong; it is her own business But Rov a therapist and a social worker that is wrong in their judgment is endangering others and that sin is not forgivable.
For the person who accused me of having twisted ideas that make people vomit...I'm a morah. I taught Chumash, Navi, Ivris and Halacha for over 20 years. I give shiurim to women in my community. I am not a therapist.
DeleteAnd I didn't say that a therapist asks a child what he wants to do. And therapists must report violent threats or confessions of crimes. Do you think that trained therapists are ok with murder? I was speaking of older children, who have ideas and opinions. And many of them are frum. and yet they are living in untenable situations with threats and abuse and belittling.
I know you will respond with some snarky retort as to why I am wrong. And that's ok. I'll discuss it with my therapist
Sorry you were accused and hurt.
DeleteHowever you opinion and comment is hurtful and insultant to the many innocent parents who lost a child due to ailination.
You add salt to injury by defending those who pepitrated the whole idea and are the driving force behind this.
Where is your sensitivity?
If you can't be nose b'oll
Wait till it hapoends to your grand child.
Let me see how fast you will put your faith in therapists.
All the Ivris and chumps that you teach won't help you.
This will effect your grandchildren all his siblings his parents and his grandfather.
But you and your therapist will "understand" and justify the college education. Because theraoists know better and don't do anything evil.
A Parent does not have the right to own a child, to have enrmous expectations of them and to comment on their choices. The child has his own life to look after and generally if the relationship is healthy and the child is healthy he will want to have a relationship with his parents within boundries of mutual respect. Of course he needs to honour his parents but that does not mean he needs to be enslaved to them nor run his own life according to their wants and wishes. Alternatively if the child is unwell then it can be for no reason other than he is unwell, sometimes a parent is unwell and creates to much friction in a childs life that he cannot deal with it.
ReplyDeleteA Parent who wants to have a relationship with his child and the child doesn't want to should back off maybe one day the child will want to maybe not
Alienated does not mean that the son is chassidish and the father is a Sefardi. It means that the child does not speak to his parents, and does not allow his children to have a shaychus with his parents.
DeleteA child who does this is oiver on the Torah, and that is true even if the parent is unwell.
It is a מצות עשה and a person needs to spend a fifth of his possessions not to transgress a מצות עשה
ReplyDeleteThis comment is a blatant LIE
It is not the coaches that are facilitating this alienation. It is coming from the LCSW and supervisors. I just heard a recording where the Therapist who is the supervisor of one of the biggest therapy agencies in Lakewood claims that "we are not here to help the child do what's right we do whatever the child chooses to do". "We will only help the child if it is the child's goal. If it's not the child's goal it's not our goal. This is a child in elementary school.
These therapists ended up fabricating a story to Alienate a child from the parents.
That therapist confessed later that they were reluctant to report because one of the community thugs (a Rov) threatened their position.
Here you have a frum senior trained LCSW who fabricated a story and convinced herself that this is a fact so much so that she reported the parents to the authorities.
If anyone wishes to hear the recording please email rishusinmidst@yahoo.com
Any person can be blinded by anything no matter what the reality is.
WITHOUT ACCOUNTABILITY THE WORLD WILL COME TO AN END. THERAPISTS MUST BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. this is true for a MD PHD MSW LCSW.
Unless someone experienced for themselves a chikd cutting ties it is hard to understand or relate to the pain good parents endure. It is obvious the person cutting ties is in pain from some past trauma. And that is really sad that they don't get proper help to accept, forgive (for their own peace of mind) and move on. No one says it's easy but that is the way to grow and be emotionally healthy.
ReplyDeleteBlaming parents is the Yetzer Ha'ra. The next thing there is friction, machlokes, throwing off the Mitzva of K'AVE - Aveirah Goreres Aveirah. We see often children who cut off parents often go OTd or slip down from the standards they had.
Cutting ties from a parent is a very very last resort, such as ongoing active abuse.
Rabbanim and Therapist, friends, coaches, spouses should encourage the "hurt" party to ho to family therapy- which includes the parents. Maybe 1st individual therapy then as a group. The main point is to repair family relationships
The issue is even worse when children are not alienated but they discuss and are taught by therapists how bad their father or mother is. The very fact that it is discussed and planted into the childs head is enough to damage the relationship and causes a child to disrespect the parents for life
ReplyDelete