Ahhh... geshmak!
You got 'em. You chappe’d the guy You found the “culprit.” Quick snap a picture and upload it to WhatsApp and social media to publicly shame another Yid, all in the name of your so-called self-righteous crusade against what you claim is a chilul Hashem.
We live in a time where smartphones have given everyone a platform. One snap, one upload, one viral moment and someone’s dignity could be shattered. And perhaps nowhere is this more visible than in the now-common phenomenon of shaming people who are perceived to be "illegally" parking in handicap spots or driving in a way what you perceive to be reckless.
You pull into a parking lot and see a car in a hvandicap space. You don’t see a license plate with a wheelchair logo. There’s no placard visible. Or maybe someone’s parked across the lines and took up two spaces. Your blood boils "How could someone be so inconsiderate?" And so, before even stepping out of your own car, you pull out your phone, take a picture, and post it to WhatsApp or social media. “Look at this guy! Total chilul Hashem!” you write
Wow what an advocate you are for the handicapped and for the road safety! That righteous fire inside you gets triggered so quickly… but did you even slow down and think?
Did you get out of your car to check if there was a placard hanging on the mirror or placed on the dashboard? Do you even know to look for a placard? Not every handicapped person has a permanent license plate, some have a temporary placard. Did you know that it's actually illegal to drive with the placard hanging from the mirror? It’s supposed to be displayed only when the car is parked. Maybe the person just forgot to hang it up this time.
Did you see who got out of the car before you sent the picture to WhatsApp? Maybe it was a handicapped passenger. Did you make sure to follow all the halachos of dan l’kaf zechus before jumping to be motzi shem ra on a fellow Yid? Maybe the person has a valid excuse why they parked there?
Did you do your proper due diligence before judging another Yid? Did you see the driver? Did you speak to him? Or did you just sit in the comfort of your car and fire off that photo playing judge, jury, and shaming squad??
And about the person who parked over two spots did it occur to you that maybe they had no choice? Maybe someone else parked crooked, forcing them to park that way, and by the time you pulled up, that other car had already left. You didn’t see that, did you?
Let’s turn the camera on you now. Are you ehrlich in every area of your life? From when you wake up until you go to bed on the road, at home, in shul, in the workplace are your actions always beyond reproach? Would you want someone snapping pictures of your slip-ups and broadcasting them to hundreds of people, all under the banner of “kiddush Hashem”?
"You know those dash cam videos blurry, unclear clips where you can’t even tell what really happened but you’re quick to post them anyway, feeling righteous behind the wheel?
Or the new trend of uploading videos of how 'Yidden drive in the Catskills,' even when it’s impossible to see what was done wrong, especially with confusing road layouts and traffic patterns?
Let’s be honest: it's less about safety and more about clicks. It makes you feel like the moral authority while hiding behind the camera lens, judging others. Maybe it’s time to turn that dash cam around on yourself and take a long, hard look in the mirror."
Al tadin es chavercha ad shetagia limkomo” Don’t judge your fellow until you’ve reached his place.
Not Every Chilul Hashem Needs a Camera Sometimes It Needs a Mirror."
Think before you shame.
A fellow handicapped Yid
Very good point. A sensible article.
ReplyDeleteAnd this is why nothing ever gets improved in the frum world
ReplyDeleteWrong it's the people who post the pictures that are the problem a sad display of middos against everything we stand for. The trigger happy keyboard warriors who have skeletons are the ones portraying themselves as sooo sensitive to others while behind closed doors their actions are far from perfect. It's easy to step on others to promote yourself
DeleteUsing goyishe tactics to improve the frum world is oxymoronic
Deleteיש דין ויש דיין
It's not your job to correct all the wrongs of the world. Live your own life without running into shailos of loshon hara and malbin pnei chaveiro, that's what Hashem wants from you
Many, many things are constantly getting improved in the frum world.
Delete100% agree. I've been saying the same thing. 🙌
ReplyDeletewhat of the best letters written. no blame. just look in the mirror.
ReplyDelete👍
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly the point, it's not that everybody is perfect and yes you may have skeletons too, I make my fair share of mistakes when I'm driving, but I feel bad and try not to repeat them. The point over here is your actions affect other people, cutting off people putting people in danger, causing accidents, it's your actions in the public eye which is so irritating, when I see a bumper sticker saying, pray for me I drive in Lakewood, that is a chilul hashem, unfortunately the reason why people behave, is because they're too embarrassed to cut off somebody in the grocery store checkout line, but in a car you can get away with it nobody will be able to tell you anything. There is one thing being dan lkaf zchus, but I'm not stupid and blind. The amount of disregard for safety and basic rules of the road make us look very bad. You can deny it all you want we really have to fix this. And yes there may be a far chance that there is an emergency or some other pressing issue that caused somebody to do it but 99% of the time that's not the case, there is no mitzvah to be a fool. So it's time to wake up and make some real change.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with the social media and websites is the people running them are not necessarily people you would respect in reality, their opinions is just theirs but the power they feel convinces them that they can lecture and preach any stupidity and pretend to be holier because people follow them
ReplyDeleteYes the people running these sites are just average regular people. But the problem is that those people who are in positions of authority rarely if ever speak anything of practical importance. I daven in a shul have a very influential rov and he almost never will speak about anything that people should be doing or not doing. He speaks theoretical and avodas hashem etc. But almost never about any issue. I'm not judging or blaming them maybe they feel they can't speak or won't be listened to anyway or whatever, that leaves the rest of us to try to make change.
DeleteI'm not bashing the establishment, maybe they're busy with the real important stuff and have no time for anything else. But just remember there is not a single chesed organization that was started by rabbonim or roshei yeshiva, hatzalah chaveirim shomrim tomchei Shabbos bonei olam a time chai lifeline hasc ohel relief Lrrc misaskim kesher nafshi tzedek and the list goes on.... So yes it's the simple people who are making real change in klal yisrael
Haha and this piece is ALSO just for the clicks. You are ALL the same!
ReplyDeletePlease explain what type of kickbacks, gifts and advertising money hefkervelt gets theough having more views? Do the whatsapp chatters make money and gifts off of their views?
DeleteI once went over to a couple who parked in a handicapped stop and politely pointed this out to them, and while they had no card, the response I received put me in m place. He told me Excuse me, however my wife just had a stroke and while we applied for a card it did not come in yet!! so always judge favorably! And be thankful you don"t need the spot!
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU HASHEM
That might be the case there but from my personal experience 90% of the time that's not the case
DeleteTake note if you have a placard and the handicapped person is not in the car with you you also are not allowed to park in those spots
The handicap placards are free and you get them on the spot
DeleteYou need approval from a doctor and bring the form to the PD
DeleteAs a spouse of someone who is handicapped this article disgusts me do you know how many times I've come to stores in Lakewood and handicapped spots are taken by people who saw a close open spot that don't need it and when you confront them oh I just ran in for one minute etc its disgusting the people who actually need those spots and because of the inconsiderate people have to walk some distance makes a difference in the rest of their day
ReplyDeleteIve spoken to a respectful Chosen mishap dayan here in Lakewood and he told me that if you warn the person not to and they ignore you you can call police to ticket them
There was a music video that came out about this topic a few years ago called "Friends Don't Forward." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mH__1bArB0A&t=95s)
ReplyDeleteMy father had surgery this year and was confined to a wheelchair he didn't receive a temporary placard but we parked in the handicap spot for him to go to a appointment a do gooderr came over to inquire why I parked there I took him inside to see the wheelchair and asked him if this is OK.
ReplyDeleteThese people that are out to get the violators are no worse than the violators
perhaps spending the 5.00 dollars for a temporary 6 months placard is well worth the money you'll avoid these situations
DeleteIt’s like saying you have to give a Gazan the benefit of the doubt because all Gazans are Hamas
ReplyDeleteHuh? Kookoo comparison?
Deletei think both parties are in the right. calling out people for parking wrong or driving like theyre piloting an airplane, doesnt necessarily shame them as no knows who they are accept themselves and perhaps a few others and yes im sorry to say at least 90% of the time its because theyre lazy and dont care about others that they park in the handicap spots or park over the lines
ReplyDeleteon the other hand in general psoting these issues in a public forum where anyone can access it even eyno shelunu can possibly be spreading the chillul hashem
we all need to be more careful in general when it comes to being in a public setting where our behavior affects others whether shelunu or eyno shelunu
Wow! Thank you for saying what needs to be said! Even if the person parked there on purpose and was wrong, who made us the judge and the one to publicly post it. If anythign, it makes the potential chillul Hashem even worse and spreads it further.
ReplyDeleteThis is the age old trick to make yourself a tzaddik by pretending you care about agunos, child abuse, handicapped people, special needs etc.. you use these as a human shield to hide behind while you go on the attack against everyone and everything and whoever calls you out you say oh look they are defending molesters or don't care about get abuse or handicapped etc..
ReplyDeleteThe olam caught onto the games
One thing I havent seen posted yet is, maybe the person did make a chilul Hashem. And you, 1 person witnessed it. By sharing it, you AMPLIFY the chilul Hashem! So by posting, you are actually the one creating a bigger Chillul Hashem. Same for all the LH inbox letters to the community telling all how terrible Hashem's great nation is. Its about time website owners take a stand.
ReplyDeleteHow dare you criticize the WhatsApp mashgiach, the daas Torah, the chief enforcer the beginning and end of everything! The nerve of you to utter even the slightest word against the newly appointed WhatsApp admin, the self-proclaimed spokesperson for all of Klal Yisroel!
ReplyDelete