Bread, Brachos, and the Fading Spirit of Our Simchas

It’s becoming increasingly evident that the practice of washing for bread at simchas is on the decline. What was once a central part of any celebratory meal netilas yadayim followed by hamotzi is now treated as optional or even inconvenient by many. At sheva brachos, it’s no longer unusual to hear someone call out, “Can we get a show of hands, do we have at least seven men who washed?” Just to ensure they can say sheva brachos properly. This shift is not just anecdotal, it reflects a broader trend.

Ironically, while bakeries continue to innovate, producing artisanal challahs, sourdoughs, and gourmet bread options, their place seems to be limited to Shabbos meals or casual outings to restaurants and bagel shops. But when it comes to a chasunah, sheva brachos bar mitzva or simchas-related event, bread is often ignored or sidelined. Guests fill their plates with main courses, salads, and side dishes without ever making a Bracha of hamotzi.

 A prominent adam gadol in Eretz Yisroel recently reflected on the rising cost of food and suggested that perhaps we are seeing this inflation as a wake-up call. He pointed out that as fewer people wash for bread and bentch, we may be missing out on the brachah  and hashpaah that comes from saying birchas hamazon properly and regularly.

What was once a foundational part of every Yiddishe meal bread, netilas yadayim, and birchas hamazon is now fading from the picture in many communal gatherings. The question isn’t just about bread, it's about whether we are losing the spiritual priorities that once anchored our seudos in meaning and halachah.

This trend highlights a deeper and more concerning issue: people are no longer spending meaningful, quality time at simchas. Increasingly, guests seem to be attending just to be yotzei יוצא צו זיין  by simply showing up without truly partaking in the simcha or connecting with the baalei simcha. There’s a noticeable lack of presence, both physically and emotionally.

This may reflect a broader societal shift. With many individuals receiving multiple invitations in a single night sometimes three or more weddings, vorts, or other events it has become common for people to "make the rounds." They arrive late, leave early, and often spend only a few minutes at each simcha. In trying to attend everything, they end up fully experiencing none.

The result? Simchas have lost some of their warmth, their joy, and the communal spirit they once carried. Instead of dancing with true enthusiasm, sharing divrei Torah, or simply sitting down and enjoying a meal with the baalei simcha, many opt for a quick hello, a handshake, and a fast exit. The atmosphere can feel rushed, transactional, and at times even hollow.

Gone are the days when people would dedicate the entire evening to one simcha and stay late to be mesameach chosson v’kallah or celebrate a milestone with family and friends. In our fast-paced culture, simchos are often reduced to another item on a packed schedule rather than moments of true celebration and connection.

This shift calls for reflection not just on halachic observance like washing for bread, but on the broader spiritual and emotional investment we bring to our community’s most sacred and joyous occasions.

                            ...ואכלת ושבעת וברכת