A voice for the Tzibbur by the Tzibbur- overcoming challenges. We take no responsibility for comments posted you are solely responsible for any comments you make and their accuracy. We take no responsibility and assume no liability for any comments posted by you or any third-party.
Sunday, February 22, 2026
Q&A at the Agudah Yarchei Kallah in Yerushalayim
Video: Q & A Panel on Contemporary Hashkafah Issues panelists HaRav Yosef Elefant, HaRav Uri Deutsch.
First question addresses the confusion as rabbonim attend over the top simchas and events while condemning it to the general public.
Mechilos kevidom, but very disappointing how BOTH could not face up to the actual first question, but rather kept dancing around it. That is a problem our kids suffer from, the lack of ernistkiet when it come to a few dollars has made them have zero respect for today's Rabbonim
It's because they agree with the questioners intent. It is a stira and people have lost respect for rabbanim at the same time that daas torah has become central to the Judaism taught in schools. If you make people into idols you need to make sure they behave like gods or you're left with nothing. The solution is to teach your kids that all people are fallible and we do not consider some to have special knowledge/connection to the ratzon Hashem. No pope, no problem
When Takanos were made that roshei yeshiva won't attend weddings that didn't follow the rules they imposed and then the next week some gvir made a wedding and the roshei yeshiva attended. That sent a very clear message to everyone. Back in the day the baalebatim served the roshei yeshiva and came to them. Today the roshei yeshiva serve the baalebatim and go running to them.
I think rabbi Elefant made some good points. We have to raise our kids with correct values and have correct values. There are rich people who buy their chassanim 10k watches but they can afford it and are very grounded. What does that have to do with anyone else if they are very involved tomchei yeshivos? Why not fargin? I find it unfathomable.
Rabban Gamliel was very grounded and could afford better tachrichim, too, but he decided to set a personal example. He evidently held differently then modern rabbonim...
I’ll give a moshol to explain why Roshei Yeshiva attend wedding they disprove of. A bochur who spends his time hanging out in Manhattan near Times Square would get thrown out of most Yeshivas. A guy who has a job there would be looked at “he needs to be there for parnossah” and no one would think much of it. It’s the same with the Roshei Yeshiva who attend those weddings…
Where do you see that the rabbonim disapprove of these weddings, though? I'll believe it when they start making asifas against them with the same frequency and vehemence they do on giyus and AI.
There is no comparison in the severity of Giyus and AI and fancy weddings. Plus they don't make asifas in BMG about fancy weddings because that crowd isn't making them anyway.
Fancy weddings are just one aspect of the broader problem of excess in the frum community. The IDF has zero power in Lakewood; but gvirim do. And arayos is not the only yetzer hara; we mention food and drink in Al Chait for a reason.
The Roshei Yeshiva will tell their talmidim not to get a degree and to have betachon that they will have parnoso. But they don't have bitachon that their yeshiva will survive if they live up to the values that they preach?
The comparison is apples to oranges because when someone is one foot the door of Yeshiva claiming he CURRENTLY needs the parnossah desperately , they don't tell him to have bitochen and stay.
By then its often too late because they listened to their Rosh Yeshiva and didn't come up with a long term parnosa plan, in the name of "bitachon". And YOU are comparing apples and oranges. Is their Yeshiva in imminent danger of closing down? I don't think so. Its just in the best interest of their financial well being to have this gevir support them.
If the ry wouldn't go maybe initially it would hurt a bit but soon enough the gvirim would come around as they want the kavod from ry attending as much as the ry want their $
I suspect that people asking the question about why the Roshei Yeshiva attend weddings aren't people who b'shita are so against such things and so bothered by the question of "they told us not to but then they..." . They're just people who wish they were gvirim and can't fargin the people who actually are...
Not really, no. I am a Dati Leumi living in EY who went to a very well respected litvish mesivta growing up in the US; I can tell you the first time I was really frustrated with the chareidi world was when I saw the double standard between the lifestyle the hanhala pushed us toward versus the effusive kavod they gave someone with even a little money.
The crowd who complains about Roshei Yeshiva attending weddings of Gvirim is for the most part made up of people who usually vehemently oppose Roshei Yeshiva flexing their muscles or boycotting events. If they would refuse to attend the chanukas habayis of a nominally Chareidi shul or Yeshiva whose haskafas they disagree with or refuse to attend an event because a nominally Chareidi Rav whose haskafas they oppose will be speaking, that crowd would go ballistic. It's only when it comes to gevirim that they demand the Roshei Yeshiva boycott. Because they can't fargin.
Lol The Dati Leumi are doing the double standard a lot worse, not with gvirim but with the state. They are chonef to the state to the point that they stand for nothing in yahadus except for support of the state. They don't care about any of the 612 mitzvos, only Yishuv Haaretz. The reason the Roshei Yeshiva give kavod to gvirim is because they need their money, it's as simple as that. They are not endorsing their lifestyle or their daas balabayis. They would wish for nothing more than to be supported monetarily without having to be mechabed gvirim. It's unfortunate that you couldn't get it at the time, like the rest of us did
What you said us an absolute lie about an entire community. The army is filled with elicher Dati L'umi Bnai Torah many with their Gemorah open at every free moment. The panelists at the Yarchei Kallah made a point of not saying what you said. Shame on you!
I saw a video from a popular woke breslov " Mekubal" who now lives in Yerushalayim, he is the holy holy type, yet when he enters the over the top decked out hall were his childs Chassunah is going to take place and he sees all the super star hired singers, full orchestra, elaborate extra elegant table settings, you see a huge smile on his face. What a phoney!!
You really don't know him. He is filled with love and happiness, not because of the gashmiyus, but because he loves Yidden. You may disagree with him, but he is true to his values.
The $10,000 watch story never happened. עלי ועל צווארי Only a bochur with a confused sense of identity, who should not be getting married at all, even cares about these things.
The meaning of רבי מכבד עשירים is based on the Mishna חרש שוטה וקטן פגיעתן רעה, הם שחבלו פטורים, אחרים שחבלו בהן חייבים. Why doesn't the Mishna include the עשיר, who can do what he wants to others, yet punishes severely those who hurt him? Rebbe honored them by not placing them in the list they rightfully deserve.
At 18:09 there’s an edit. What was originally said there that had to be removed?
ReplyDeleteIt was removed because of people like you and you want us tell you?!?!?
DeleteMechilos kevidom, but very disappointing how BOTH could not face up to the actual first question, but rather kept dancing around it. That is a problem our kids suffer from, the lack of ernistkiet when it come to a few dollars has made them have zero respect for today's Rabbonim
ReplyDeleteIt's because they agree with the questioners intent.
DeleteIt is a stira and people have lost respect for rabbanim at the same time that daas torah has become central to the Judaism taught in schools.
If you make people into idols you need to make sure they behave like gods or you're left with nothing.
The solution is to teach your kids that all people are fallible and we do not consider some to have special knowledge/connection to the ratzon Hashem.
No pope, no problem
Rav Deutsch did address the question at 21:38 - 24:34
Delete21:38-24:34 is not an answer the tzibbur will accept. Rules for thee not for me. We need their money so it's OK
DeleteWhen Takanos were made that roshei yeshiva won't attend weddings that didn't follow the rules they imposed and then the next week some gvir made a wedding and the roshei yeshiva attended. That sent a very clear message to everyone. Back in the day the baalebatim served the roshei yeshiva and came to them. Today the roshei yeshiva serve the baalebatim and go running to them.
ReplyDeleteThe takonot have an exception for RYs that "have" to make big weddings.
ReplyDeleteI think rabbi Elefant made some good points. We have to raise our kids with correct values and have correct values. There are rich people who buy their chassanim 10k watches but they can afford it and are very grounded. What does that have to do with anyone else if they are very involved tomchei yeshivos? Why not fargin? I find it unfathomable.
ReplyDeleteRabban Gamliel was very grounded and could afford better tachrichim, too, but he decided to set a personal example. He evidently held differently then modern rabbonim...
DeleteI’ll give a moshol to explain why Roshei Yeshiva attend wedding they disprove of. A bochur who spends his time hanging out in Manhattan near Times Square would get thrown out of most Yeshivas. A guy who has a job there would be looked at “he needs to be there for parnossah” and no one would think much of it. It’s the same with the Roshei Yeshiva who attend those weddings…
ReplyDeleteWhere do you see that the rabbonim disapprove of these weddings, though? I'll believe it when they start making asifas against them with the same frequency and vehemence they do on giyus and AI.
DeleteThere is no comparison in the severity of Giyus and AI and fancy weddings. Plus they don't make asifas in BMG about fancy weddings because that crowd isn't making them anyway.
DeleteFancy weddings are just one aspect of the broader problem of excess in the frum community. The IDF has zero power in Lakewood; but gvirim do. And arayos is not the only yetzer hara; we mention food and drink in Al Chait for a reason.
DeleteiDf unfortunately does have power in lakewood, also I some seminaries
DeleteThe Roshei Yeshiva will tell their talmidim not to get a degree and to have betachon that they will have parnoso. But they don't have bitachon that their yeshiva will survive if they live up to the values that they preach?
ReplyDeleteBravo
DeleteThe comparison is apples to oranges because when someone is one foot the door of Yeshiva claiming he CURRENTLY needs the parnossah desperately , they don't tell him to have bitochen and stay.
DeleteBy then its often too late because they listened to their Rosh Yeshiva and didn't come up with a long term parnosa plan, in the name of "bitachon". And YOU are comparing apples and oranges. Is their Yeshiva in imminent danger of closing down? I don't think so. Its just in the best interest of their financial well being to have this gevir support them.
DeleteIf the ry wouldn't go maybe initially it would hurt a bit but soon enough the gvirim would come around as they want the kavod from ry attending as much as the ry want their $
ReplyDeleteI suspect that people asking the question about why the Roshei Yeshiva attend weddings aren't people who b'shita are so against such things and so bothered by the question of "they told us not to but then they..." . They're just people who wish they were gvirim and can't fargin the people who actually are...
ReplyDeleteNot really, no. I am a Dati Leumi living in EY who went to a very well respected litvish mesivta growing up in the US; I can tell you the first time I was really frustrated with the chareidi world was when I saw the double standard between the lifestyle the hanhala pushed us toward versus the effusive kavod they gave someone with even a little money.
DeleteAs someone who is b'shita against such things and not bothered by the question of "they told us not to but then they...", I'm maskim to you.
DeleteThe crowd who complains about Roshei Yeshiva attending weddings of Gvirim is for the most part made up of people who usually vehemently oppose Roshei Yeshiva flexing their muscles or boycotting events. If they would refuse to attend the chanukas habayis of a nominally Chareidi shul or Yeshiva whose haskafas they disagree with or refuse to attend an event because a nominally Chareidi Rav whose haskafas they oppose will be speaking, that crowd would go ballistic. It's only when it comes to gevirim that they demand the Roshei Yeshiva boycott. Because they can't fargin.
DeleteLol
DeleteThe Dati Leumi are doing the double standard a lot worse, not with gvirim but with the state.
They are chonef to the state to the point that they stand for nothing in yahadus except for support of the state. They don't care about any of the 612 mitzvos, only Yishuv Haaretz.
The reason the Roshei Yeshiva give kavod to gvirim is because they need their money, it's as simple as that. They are not endorsing their lifestyle or their daas balabayis. They would wish for nothing more than to be supported monetarily without having to be mechabed gvirim.
It's unfortunate that you couldn't get it at the time, like the rest of us did
What you said us an absolute lie about an entire community. The army is filled with elicher Dati L'umi Bnai Torah many with their Gemorah open at every free moment.
DeleteThe panelists at the Yarchei Kallah made a point of not saying what you said.
Shame on you!
we hate zionism, dont make your children korbanos for bibi
DeleteLike somebody said. Where is the bitachon of these RY??? What excuse is there to go to Moraco to TL a gvir???
ReplyDeleteI saw a video from a popular woke breslov " Mekubal" who now lives in Yerushalayim, he is the holy holy type, yet when he enters the over the top decked out hall were his childs Chassunah is going to take place and he sees all the super star hired singers, full orchestra, elaborate extra elegant table settings, you see a huge smile on his face. What a phoney!!
ReplyDeleteYou really don't know him.
DeleteHe is filled with love and happiness, not because of the gashmiyus, but because he loves Yidden. You may disagree with him, but he is true to his values.
Rabbi Elefant claims that we should inculcate the values ourselves, and ignore Roshei Yeshivos.
ReplyDeleteDoes he not see the irony?
The $10,000 watch story never happened. עלי ועל צווארי
ReplyDeleteOnly a bochur with a confused sense of identity, who should not be getting married at all, even cares about these things.
The meaning of רבי מכבד עשירים is based on the Mishna חרש שוטה וקטן פגיעתן רעה, הם שחבלו פטורים, אחרים שחבלו בהן חייבים.
ReplyDeleteWhy doesn't the Mishna include the עשיר, who can do what he wants to others, yet punishes severely those who hurt him?
Rebbe honored them by not placing them in the list they rightfully deserve.
Brilliant!
DeleteAryeh Ganz said this one over once
Deletepretty comical to ask about going on trips around the world, in a trip around the world
ReplyDelete