Neighborhood In Uproar as Organization’s Parlor Meeting Cut The Carving Station!

Theonionkichel.com -Residents of the development community "Forest Something" were in for a big surprise when they arrived at a neighborhood parlor meeting last night. On the table where the carving station was supposed to have been – there was only pre-sliced meat.

"It’s a very big deal when people put down their phones and go support an organization, and to have pre-sliced meat is a real slap in the face", said a prominent neighborhood spokesperson. "If an organization cannot spend the extra few thousand dollars to have someone slice the meat front of us while we wait on line, then that is not an organization that I want to give my tzedakah to".

Even young people were quick to pile on. A Cleveland resident who is studying in a yeshiva a few miles south of Forest Something told reporters that "I was extremely let down by the pre-cut brisket tonight. When you take the time to hitch to a parlor meeting for supper, you have certain expectations, and those expectations were definitely not met last night". This could have long-term effects on the organization. This bocher also told reporters that he spoke to a lot of his friends and while they are not going as far as to say that they will boycott the parlor meeting being held for this organization tonight in the development across the street, or tomorrow night in the neighborhood down the block, they may choose instead to go the barbecue event being held by a yeshiva that promises to not cut any corners.



This could have a long-term effect on the organization’s parlor meeting proceeds, or even worse – their attendance.

Organization officials were quick to respond to this outrage by issuing the following statement:

Last night members of a prominent community came to our parlor meeting and were made to feel uncomfortable by our lack of carving station. While we are still conducting our internal investigation into this matter, it seems to be have been the misguided accountant who was trying to cut corners to increase the origination's’ bottom line. This employee was immediately fired, sending a strong message to our company that we have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to this sort of thing. We are deeply sorry to all those who attended the meeting and were let down by the thoughtless actions of this employee.
As a sign of our commitment to always meet and surpass the culinary expectations of our donors, we will be sending a personal chef to every house in the development to cook a five-course gourmet meal, not including dessert. As an additional step to ensure that something like this does not happen again, we commit to spending the greater of $50,000 or 86% of our funds toward food, cigars, music, and other vital entertainment at our events. When it comes to raising money for the poor, we do not want money to be an issue.

credit Theonionkichel.com