More Supermarkets coming to Lakewood
National Supermarket chains from across the US will be opening branches in Lakewood, NJ. Following the success of of kosher markets popping up all over, it only makes sense to follow suit and open stores in the strong Lakewood Kosher food market. A List of those who plan to open; Albertsons, Ralphs, Path mark, ShopRite, Trader Joes, Wegmans, kroger, Whole Foods, and kosher markets from Israel, Europe and beyond.
Anti Eruv Group teams up with Local Rabbonim
Those opposed to an Eruv in several NJ towns have come up with a idea to team up with Local Rabbis in the Lakewood area in an attempt to use halacha to stop building Eruvin. At the initial meeting they had a hard time pronouncing words and understanding the concepts of Gud Asik, and Mefulash, but they will try whatever it takes. Hey, its strange bedfellows but by partnering with the Rabbonim they hope to have a stronger case. If a Rav from Brooklyn cant make an Eruv in Lakewood they hope to do the same for their communities.
New Takkanos proposed for Parlor Meetings
Askanim are floating the idea of new Takanos for Parlor meetings and other fundraising events requiring Mosdos to have a change in the menu. Its very not bakovodig to schlep people to an event and not serve them properly. Sponge cake, Seltzer and cookies has long fallen by the wayside. There should be a minimum requirement for: 3-4 hot dishes, preferably a 7 course meal (not in the 9 days) Sushi rolled on the spot, Wine tasting and live music is a must. Optional choice of cigar rolling or a Hookka bar. To enforce the new rules the Rabbonim and Roshei Yeshiva will not attend unless these new guidelines are strictly met and enforced.
Breathalyzers installed at Chasuna halls
Wedding halls in Lakewood will now install a breathalyzer near the exits making sure everyone gets home safely. This will be implemented in response to recent incidents were wedding guests have had a L'chaim too many. This is a pilot program, if successful it will soon be mandatory for bar Mitzvas and Fundraising events.
Life size standees of politicians go up in town square
Its very frustrating when you talk to someone but they dont respond to you. That is the feeling you get when attending meetings at the Lakewood town hall. As one resident said, we come to the meetings but we feel like we talk to the wall, its a one way conversation the members just look and bob their heads but dont talk back. Someone came up with the idea instead of going to the meetings on their time to see the puppets, why not just yell at the life size figures of the politicians on our own time. You wont get cut off and can talk for more than 5 minutes.
Gezira or no Gezeira
while the debate continues is there or isn't there a Geziras Giyus one need to look no further than the Megillah. The Nes of Purim is that Mordechai was able to convince Klal Yisrael that there actually is a Gezeira even to those who were skeptic or in denial.
Talk on lifting the Stadium ban
Officials and representatives of the ball club met to discuss how to increase attendance from the local community. One idea came out that its about time the ban be lifted. lakewood is no longer a shtut, its a metropolis a mosaic of many cultures. The Chasidim moving in have been going to stadiums for asifos and other gatherings there is no reason we should deny them that privilege. Also Lakewood has the first Movie theater with Kosher food, a electronic Billboard with Hebrew words, the time is ripe to let the olam enjoy baseballs past time. Arrangements will be made for those living in the vicinity to prepay and walk over for shabbos games.
Name change proposed
As the community continues to expand beyond its borders with the influx of Brooklyn residents a petition was sent out by the Vaad and Lakewood Neighbors asking for ideas to rename the area. some of the submissions: Palm Tree south, Zalis' south, Satu Marie on the Lake, Chaim's River, Jackobs son, Beigel hole, the Groiyseh apple, The Vaad was leaning to the Groiseh apple name as it resembled most to Bad apples.
Exclusive First report Breaking News
A Lakewood resident was driving on the Garden State Parkway near exit 109 and saw a Deer on the side of the road. In another developing story a Lakewood resident ate breakfast in Toms River.
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Authorities to crack down on wondering Yeshiva boys
They are known as the wedding crashers or the better yet, as the clean up crew. Its a problem ballei simcha have to cope with giving supper nightly to hundreds of hungry boys who just dont get full from the yeshiva supper. They took
advantage of the nightly social scene in town hitting up every wedding, parlor meting and fundraising events. After Menahlim tried to shut down food establishments the boys got smarter and take advantage of the free food at simchos. Chaveirim and other first responders will now patrol wedding halls sending the boys back to the yeshivas.
Arcade company makes 3D game of Lakewood Roads
A Entrepreneur took videos of Lakewood roads and incorporated it into a arcade game where you have to avoid car crashes and pedestrians. Its a unfortunate situation but it was an opportunity to make a buck. The company insists those who play the game will be prepared ahead of time how to navigate Lakewood roads in a safer way. Geico will ow make it mandatory to play if you want coverage.
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A Freilichen Purim!
Very funny!!! Thank you!!!
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