Recently more and more weddings are taking place during the 2nd half of sefira it was not so long ago ago that weddings did not take place between Lag Baomer and Shavuos. It was always more common to make weddings from after Pesach up to Rosh Chodesh Iyar. The trend has changed and currently wedding halls have been busy during the second half of sefira after lag Baomer. The main factor is the lack of availability to book a hall and set a wedding date during the busy chasuna season after shavuos. A long engagement is standard by chasidim but not in the yeshiva circles. (Chasidim have an option to plan a wedding and book a hall a 9 months to (or a year) in advance). A 4 months engagement is now common for a chosson kallah that get engaged in February/March (after The freezer opens) and are first getting married after shavuos.
Years ago in Baltimore there was a lack of Chasuma halls and it was hard to find a wedding date. Rav Moshe Heineman shlita ruled that you can make weddings during sefira after Lag baomer, something that was not done prior to that. Some Roshei yeshiva will not be mesader kiddushin though, during sefira.
Rav Moshe Feinstein (Igros 159) explains that the prohibition of getting married during Sefira belongs only to the chosson and kallah and when they are permitted to marry, others are permitted to attend. Harav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l would go to weddings after Lag B’Omer, even though he was still keeping Sefira, yet he avoided from being mesader kiddushin.
The Minchas Yitzchok held one may not attend a wedding during their Sefira, even if the chosson and kallah are not keeping Sefira.
My thoughts:
ReplyDeleteIt is important to mention the following:
-The Rema (who is our posek achron) writes clearly that after Lag Baomer weddings are totally permitted for those who hold the first half, and holding the first half is definitely totally legitimate.
-The minhag not to is based on a Taz.
-Based on the minhag of the Taz one should not be able to make a chasuna before rosh chodesh iyar either so the fact that we do means that we are not choshesh for the Taz. Therefore the whole reason to be machmir is very unclear.
-Finding a hall was not an issue in prewar Europe because chasunas were not made in a hall so any date was available so there was no reason to make a chasuna on a less than optimal date.
-Even in America after the war there were not to many chasunas and finding a hall was not much of an issue.
-Everyone who is involved in shidduchim knows that long engagements in our circles, since the chassan and kallah meet very often, are highly not recommended and can be very damaging.
-Rav Yecheskel Roth zt"l and many other choshuve rabannim held that under these circumstances it is perfectly acceptable to make chasunas after lag baomer.
-Sefardim, seemingly always made chausnas after lag baomer.
-Based on the above it seems like a stretch for one to be machmir not to make chasunas after lag baomer when the engagement is already long.