Thursday, July 14, 2016

Times change values dont

Article by former Lakewood resident who finds it painful to visit. Again, like all communities things evolve for better or worse. 

I grew up in Lakewood, before it was Brooklyn. When the trails around the lake were clean and empty, when Central Avenue always had parking, when I knew the store owners of Friedman’s and Gelbstein’s, when there was still a co-ed Day School and a Modern Orthodox shul, and when large swaths of forest outnumbered the homes. In the Day School, all of my Jewish subject teachers were Haredi, though I did not know that word back then. I knew there were women who wore wigs and that they were ‘more’ religious than my Orthodox cousins, and far more religious than myself (who was not very).  And they were smart and bright and some had far more patience than others for my questions.  In fact, Reb. Nechama Reich, Rav Kotler’s daughter, never let me get away with anything, but she never shied away from my questions either, and it was an honor to have her at my wedding so too, Reb. Shulamis Rozansky. When I walked down the street in Lakewood, walking the mile to shul, every Jew said “Good Shabbas,” man or woman, ‘Haredi’ or not.
This does not happen so much anymore. I don’t go to Lakewood anymore. It is too painful. It is the land of huge houses and $5,ooo sheitels. It is a place where kids are refused from schools and the individual can no longer be found.  Do these things eclipse all the wondrous chesed done? No, but they do dull it to a point where it is not the thing that shines through any longer. Modesty is gone and I’m not speaking of skirt length… http://www.skjaskoll.com/yes-i-have-an-agenda/

16 comments:

  1. Harold herskowitzJuly 14, 2016 at 9:36 AM

    Wow. This article is a must read. I just wish the gatekeepers of our town could see past their bank accounts and take this to heart. Like the sign says, values do not need to change. The ideal is to put people before profit. We need leaders that wake up, See what is needed, what is broken, what can be made better, and just do it. Strive to make the town better, not just bigger. More more more is what babies say. We need to take what we have and make it work. We need to stop trying to outdo the next person in our level of Frumkeit.
    What type of message do we send our girls when we cut their pictures out of magazines? are they really supposed to fall for the "it's out of respect for you" spiel? If a magazine picture of a Tznius woman is such an issue then there should be no pictures at all. We have twisted and twisted Yiddishkeit to the point where we have squeezed out every drop of nectar from our sweet derech hachaim. We have monetized and marginalized every part of Jewish life and nothing true and honest is left. How much time did we spend this week talking about Hashem? How much time did we spend talking about the "shidduch crisis"? I rest my case.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are jumping around topics. Money is one thing and pictures of girls is something else. You ruin your point with ramblings

      Delete
    2. As long as its about bashing the establishment ,ramblings and modern feminists are ok. Anything to bash

      Delete
    3. my opinion: if you are going to put a picture in a magazine and there are woman in it, dont publish the picture. dont put blurr over half the picture so you can put in the two boys by the cotton candy machine. it's disgusting.

      Delete
    4. Welcome to Herschel's new agenda: Pictures of women in magazines.

      Delete
  2. This is an ironic article. She feels Lakewood got too frum and unfriendly. The old time Lakewooders feel it happened because Lakewood became so much less frum then it was thirty years ago

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Harold herskowitzJuly 14, 2016 at 4:06 PM

      She did not say lakewood got too frum. And unfriendly is not synonymous with frumkeit. Lakewood was a bastion of true Torah life 25 years ago. It didn't need fancy stores and designer homes and cars to feel special. It was what people in Brooklyn told me was "nebby" and we loved it for being that way. What she was writing is that it lost its soul. She never said it became too frum. On the contrary. She wrote that it has lost its sense of Tznius, of community. True Tznius that cannot be measured simply by a ruler by the knee. And as far as feminism is concerned, you obviously never met any of the olden day Rebetzins.

      Delete
    2. If a tzniusdikeh woman says it's not about hemlines, i can accept that. But if a 'prutzah,' a yoetzet halachah says it's not about hemlines, of course it's not, she's very happy with the hemline matziv!
      So basically her credibility is non existent.

      Delete
    3. this article is all over the place and makes no sensible points. what on earth is the connection between Lakewood and the NK in Bait Shemesh? because she thinks lakewood women wear expensive sheitels they are just like men who spit on her in her imagination on a bus?
      this writer is obviously a sad, negative person who could use a lot of counseling.
      and people who think this is a must read are just showing how obtuse they are.

      Delete
  3. Why would you quote from a feminist. Her hashkafos are foreign to our mesorah. Her issues are not Lakewood, her issues are with the hashkafos of the frum world.

    ReplyDelete
  4. There sre Hundreds of Modern Orthodox Jewish Communities all across the USA with over a Dozen in New Jersey , West Orange , Livingston , Teaneck , Highland Park , Cherry Hill , Margate , etc, etc. There are only 3 or 4 Haredi Communities outside of NYC so stop complaining.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lakewood is not only Yeshivish any more. Some people here are extremely modern (I mean in hashkofos, tsnius, values etc.)That is what bothers me the most. Also the houses are way too big and cause our non Jewish neighbors eys to pop out. We are in golus, we shouldn't be living in homes that we think we'll have forever. Don't we want Moshiach to come and take us to Eretz Yisroel? My house is old, but quite adequate. It does not live up to the Jones' on my block, but, I don't want to have a too beautiful house that I wouldn't want to leave behind when Moshiach comes.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Harold herskowitzJuly 15, 2016 at 4:35 AM

    No leaders are willing to speak out about anything other than skirt length because they are blinded by the money. They take sides in issues that they should have no say in, and refuse to speak out about real problems. How many Rabonim will stand behind a bad person because they are told to? How many will choose a side in a machloikes blinded by the largesse of the highest donor? How many moisdos honor people with less than honorable reputations? How many will shake hands with an apostate, ignoring some of the strictest laws of the Torah they are representing? I am not the rebel. They are the ones rebelling. I am simply pointing out that all is not right and things need to change. There are too few people like Mr. 14th Street here. What used to be common hashkofos of our Torah town are now becoming a rare sight.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Our apologies, a comment that was meant to be private was mistakenly published. Thank you, (Mr.Anon) for the chizuk and constructive criticism.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Fact checking might be in order here. I am not a yoetzet Halacha-- nor am I a Prutzah, but given that the man who spit on me - which is on video and not in my imagination-- said the same things to the little girls he was screaming at right beforehand, it is not my credibility in question, but yours, and you've just proven the Bet Shemesh connection

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. huh? proven how? what connection? if you are supposed to be a writer why can't you explain yourself coherently?

      Delete