Monday, December 21, 2015

Letter in shuls about shalom bayis


35 comments:

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    1. We have come to bring awarness to the plight of what is going on in our town There has recently been a few divorce cases in lakewood homes where a couple went to seek counsel by therapists who happened to not have experience or the know how in dealing with shalom bayis and instead of referring the couple to someone more experienced and knowledgeable they caused irrevocable harm to the shalom between husband and wife and it resulted in divorce.
      Askanim and Rabbonim that take a side in the divorce process and only hear one side of the argument in turn they support and advise one party to take steps that should not have been taken Had they also spoken to the other party. Be it going to arkaos or advising to ask for a lot of money from the other party or turning the children against one side it's understandable the many michsholim that come out which does not bring shalom on the contrary they are advising one party to seek revenge. Besides for the chilul has hem that comes with going to Arkaos or the pain and damage inflicted on the children who are stuck in the middle of this storm.many times these children's problems spill over to their friends in school and their neighbors.

      We call and ask with a sincere heartfelt request to all those supporting one side either financial to go to arkaos and the like yo please verify with both parties before you do deeds that appear as chesed while on truth brings machlokes and stumble. Please anyone that can have an influence on the askanim who get involved to listen to both sides and to only go to therapists that are known to fix and not destroy marriages. Let it be done in the ways of shalom.

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  2. No name. Just an anonymous word processor

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    1. There are many Ehrlich Rabbonim that would sign this letter. They are scared of the maffia of bullies and powerful people that will use any tactics shelo kedin torah just to protect themselves their organizations and sources of income. The feminist leaning askanim are to blame for this fiasco as well.

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    2. Agreed.
      The "feminist leaning askanim " would serve society well if they would focus on a Mehudar prenuptial arrangement that would be available to young couples getting married.The Mavinim know that this would solve 99% of the Aguna problem.

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  3. There should be a system where people should know which therapist to trust and who to avoid.

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    1. When it comes to this Inyan,there "should" be a system which Rav to trust and which one to avoid.(not gonna happen)

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    2. Very simple if it's for free avoid it at all costs. The free agencies employ interns and inexperienced newly trained social workers. Choose a private one its worth spending money to save your marriage or to have your children receive the correct care and not be a guinea pig.

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  4. I wouldn't trust the locals. A therapist in a agency called dyfs on a father who to this day can not see his child. The father took the therapist To Bais din and he won the psak din. The BY ruled they should not treat his children and must pay him for the financial loss he incurred.docyou think they honored the psak? NO! are these the people we trust to treat our children??? Are these the people who should deal with shalom bayis with out any regard to halacha or Tora hashkafa.

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  5. The one sided therapy agent called dyfs because a one sided rabbi convinced them to call. They were brought to bais din and the lady therapists went confidently without their husbands or anyone else to help them. They were hit over the head by bais din and they suddenly lost all their confidence. The other side brought papers proving their side and even had recordings of the head therapist lying. The therapists begged not to report hippa violations that were uncovered. The therapists lost the din Torah by a mile. So what did they do? They went to another one-sided rav and presented their story in a way that they convinced him that they don't have to listen to bais din. This is what we have come to. They say what they want. They cry on bai's din but lose anyway. They then find a rav who is willing to hear one side of a story from someone that lost in bais din amd already signed arbitration and tell them that now that they lost they don't have to listen to the psak of a respected bais din. That's why people must be forewarned about such people.

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  6. Uf true The tayna isnot so much on the therapist. It is on a rov that hears only one side

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    1. It's on the agency that employs the therapist and on the rabbinical board of the agency who guide them.

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    2. These people know who to go to to get the answer they want. If not in Lakewood Brooklyn isn't that far away

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  7. This is unbelieveable the entire Lakewood is discussing all the above issues now someone is plastering the whole Lakewood with these Hefkervelt posts

    This all used to be Hush Hush under the table discussed by a few individuals now there are signs going up all over Lakewood in all the Shuls on Car windshields and Developments exposing this whole Restraining order Sham and The Feminist Rabbis who Promote their use

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  8. And what about all the yungeliet that go to arkaos what about them and there one sided rosh hayeshivas? These supposed rosh Yeshiva hear one side and send the husband running to court and the poor girl doesn't even have a rosh yeshiva to help her.

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    1. what about them?? their talmidim come to them after they were thrown out of their house and dragged to court with a restraining order. stop spinning the issue and playing the victim card.

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  9. Does anyone see a trend in Westgate?

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  10. I agree & know first hand of woman therapists & some men in the free agencies in town that destroyed many marriages. Ask any competent Rov or Askan they all agree. Rabbi Avigdor Miller says go to a Rabbi with a white beard not a therapist for marriage advice. By the way most of the therapists have their own social issues & come from difficult backrounds. Is that who you want to take advice from.

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    1. Your statement of "most of the therapists have their own social issues & come from difficult backrounds." is very true. Most people who are stable and come from stable backgrounds, never even think about becoming therapists.

      It seems that only the unstable ones, and those who have visited therapists themselves, want to become therapists. Getting a piece of paper doesn't magically change these people.

      (there are some exceptions to this rule, I know a very good person, who is also a therapists. But I also know quite a few that became therapists, that have a whole lot of their own baggage)

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  11. Lakewood is truly a "Hefkervelt."

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  12. It is strange that most of the people I know who became therapists (not just Shalom Bayis) had a lot of personal emotional baggage. It is as if they become therapists to deflect from their own personal issues.

    Somehow, there is this illusion, that when they get their degree and piece of paper, all of sudden they go from having problems, to being an expert on solving others problems.

    It really amazes me that people actually go to some of these people for counseling. They would be better of speaking to a Talmid Chacham and Baal Mussar

    I know this is off topic, but a real Baal Mussar (not referring to someone who gives mussar to others, but someone who practices it themselves), are the best at giving advice. By understanding and ruling their own Yetzer Hara and Tevah, they are able to understand and guide others as well)

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  13. Hello I am discussing men that either leave their wives or kick them out if the home. There are many cases where yungeleit call authorities or run to arkaoas

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    1. "Many cases" you are clueless and trying to turn the tables here you have no idea what your talking about. speak to people in the know.

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    2. I know of MANY CASES. I think that you are not in the know and just a heckler

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  14. A big askan who mediates divorce cases believes children don't need a father and he pushes for less visitation time with the father and also helps and advises ladies to take out restraining orders and how to fight in court. He introduced many dirty tactics to the gittin in Lakewood. Uber er davent a lang davenen Un a groiys ball chesed.

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  15. Rabbosei keep up the fight whoever is doing this spreading papers in shul or posting these articles ashreichem I know of a few therapists that are running scared after these shenanigans were exposed. Don't stop! It's time to be mafarsem this avlah that is going on breaking apart families and throwing fathers out and separating their children from them. Keep it up.

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  16. I am the person making copies of the hefkervelt posts on these issues and plastering them all around town in shuls cars etc. To date I printed and distributed 800 of these flyers my goal is to print and distribute another six Thousand plus of these flyers over the next few days and weeks and that is just on one of the previous posts posted on sunday November 29, 2015 about the restraining orders ( The Rishus continues - when will it end)
    after That I plan on copying and distributing Thousands of flyers of other posts that hefkervelt posts on this issue and other issues I think everyone in Lakewood should be aware about

    Aside from informing the Lakewood Oilem about these Issues These Flyers notify the Lakewood Oilem about this new Website/blog called Hefkervelt which most of Lakewood still is not aware exists so now you will have hundreds if not Thousands of new Lakewooders logging onto Hefkervelt, and all Lakewood issues both on the scenes and behind the scenes will now be open for everyone to see

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    1. Chazak V'amatz keep it up don't stop now is the time to publicize what has been hidden from the klal. The ihr hatorah deserves better.

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    2. What made u do this are u a victim of the establishment?

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    3. I guess you can say I had to deal with a victim of...now defunct and obsolete Bais din which also involved now a veteran asken these people are all history now as is their power although .. writes letters of support for women in court and encourages them to take out restraining orders all of course after just listening to one side of the story especially in cases involving relatives in Lakewood ....... were the ones who introduced this concept of going to the police and courts and taking out restraining orders for every Sholom Bayis Issue and every minor dispute

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    4. Why don't you get rabbonim to sign a letter. And then plaster it all over.

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  17. You can fill in the blanks unfortunately with many names. 20 years ago it was yenem today its another askan/Do gooder times have not changed the same practice goes on halacha and Torah are out feminism and rishus is in.

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  18. If anyone is still unsure about the sad truth. You can speak to any prominent Bais Din outside Lakewood. You can speak with any reasonable Toen. Or any non Establishment Rov in our very Ir Hatora.
    If you seek the truth, the truth always prevails.

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  19. Wake up Lakewood. The town is run by an anonymous vaad as well as some bullies who no one wants to start up with.I was at a meeting with one if these so-called askonim who helped advise a lady to get a restraining order against her husband. The husbands brother was screaming at the askan who just sat at his desk and told him to calm down. It was easy for the askan to say this because he wasn't the one kicked out of his house. A few weeks later the askan was caught on one of his lies. I called him to point it out to him and he started screaming how it wasn't true. I told him to calm down. It was easy for me because I wasn't the one being called a liar. There is an important point here. These people are only worried about their own kovod. As long as the pressure is on them and they realize that instead of getting kovod they are being exposed for what they are they will quickly stop all their "leshaim shemayim" work and Lakewood will be a better place.

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  20. Reply to comment# 6:50 pm, You ask why don't you get a signature from any Rabbonim? You obviously have not lived in Lakewood long enough or you have no experience with how Lakewood runs or the Lakewood Establishment or Mafia No Rov, Posek in Dayan will ever sign a letter against the Establishments Intrests or Establishment Rabbonim or Botei Dinim. The only one who does not give a Hoot about the Establishment or the other Botei Dinim and Feminest Rabbis and Askonim is Rav Yisroel Arye Knopfler from Bais Din Badatz of Lakewood which is why they try to Marginalize him and put out letters against him and try to run him out of Lakewood

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