Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Hefker Velt

Guest comment.
 Its a Hefker velt, thats exactly how to describe what goes on when dealing with the sensitive issue of shalom bayis and  R'L divorce. There is no responsible system set up, no trusted agency al pi Torah and halacha. No communal standard that everyone adheres to, or even a bes din to turn to. Its unfortunate that so many homes are shattered as a result of total incompetence, inexperience in dealing with the issues and problems of shalom bayis. Its a Hefkervelt when any Askan, therapist, social worker or Rav, can do what they want with no accountability for their actions. They get away with it time and time again. There is no mirsas, no fear, no repercussions its do what ever you please. They dont have to answer up to anybody. Take one side of a story, give bad advice, dont do basic homework or due diligence its only nefashos were dealing with. So what if you have no experience in shalom bayis issues, who says you cant take it on all by yourself? no one is stopping you. No guidelines set in place making sure all
areas of halacha and common sense are taken into consideration. Its a Hefkervelt when anything goes a newlywed is giving therapy to couples on marital issues and shalom bayis. Maffia tactics forcing husbands into submission is now the opening shot to any pending divorce case. The court system is used before we open a shulchan Aruch. Mediation is given over to bullies who use dirty tactics and threats in order to receive a favorable outcome for one side. Its time for Takkanos to be implemented that will stop this hefkeirus of breaking families apart and creating living orphans. Lets rid ourselves of this ugly stain that is unbecoming to our ihr HaTorah.

17 comments:

  1. I'm glad your reb be saved you. But in lkwd it would not have helped. Before you would have had a chance to pick up the phone and call your rebbe the authorities would have been called already. Your children would have been treated by incompetent therapists who were told what A bad father you are without ever speaking to you. And mostly your rebbe would have never imagined that such hefkeirus and anti torah approach is used a ihr hatorah vehachesed. on Hefker Velt

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  2. If u dont call it an ihr hatorah then it wont bother you. An ibr haneedachas is more appropriate.

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  3. This is one of the reasons that people have to have a Rebbe. Parents need to guide their bochurim to Yeshivos where they will have a Rebbe that will guide them through life. I also had serious marriage issues, probably far more serious than the stories that are being blogged about, & my Rebbe held my hand through the whole thing. He told me what to do & when to do it & how to do it. He told me what to say to who & when to say it & how to say it. I did not need any help from so called 'askonim,' I had my Rebbe to guide me. And now my marriage is as strong as ever; we love each other and we get along great.
    Don't run to the askonim, run to your Rebbe. He taught you תורה, he'll carry you through anything.

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  4. This is how it goes the recipe for disaster. Heter to withhold mikva. Heter to get restraining order heter to call dyfus and remove the kids. Heter to throw hubby out and lock him in jail.
    Women calls LOR with shalom basis problem. Instead of speaking to husband to verify she gets a heter not to go to the mikva. But she is told not to say who gave her the heter. It was not a beis din of 3 day an I'm but a rav who only listens to one side. The same pattern continues with restraining order a until wife gets what she wants. The do gooders refuse to take any responsibility when they are confronted with the simple question why did you not speak to the husband? Why was he not even given a chance to defend himself or even be informed of what is being done to him and his children behind his back.

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  5. It's not only lkwd.

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  6. Sometimes its a psychiatric emergency from one side, and has nothing to do with shalom bayis.

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  7. Once they throw the molestation card in the mix it changes the dynamics. Doubt has now been cast on a father who in the prime of his life is thrown out like a dog. No matter what happens life for him and his children will never be what it should have been. Those responsible shift the blame and take no r responsibility.

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  8. A big attorney who deals with divorce in Lakewood claims the spike in divorce is a direct result of the incompetent therapists in our community. They both started about 5 years ago, Therapists = Divorce. Do as Rav Avigdor Miller says go to a Rabbi with a long white beard not black.

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  9. A big so called askan was well involved in a preplanned idea to get a restraining order on the husband in order for the wife to kick him out of the house. This guy never hurt a fly and everyone that ever knew him would agree. I'm not joking, I saw a copy of the restraining order, she wrote that one of the reasons she felt threatened by her husband is because he once told her that she was acting like one of the characters on a kids tape they were listening to in the car. The so called askan said the wife was planning for over a month to get a restraining order to get him kicked out of the house by the cops. The next day she cried to her neighbors that her husband left her. Fake askanim, one sided rabbonim and lifeless therapists will back the dumbest people and never backtrack. The light at the end of the tunnel is that there is so much dirt on every one of these fakers that it's just a matter of time until they are fully exposed.

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  10. it's terrifying to see such an Avlah happen, Viein Poitzeh Peh Umitzaftzef.... Theis therapist destroyed, literally, this family... He has the daughter now testify against the father after the Rov of the development got her out of the house because she was wrecking the marriage... She's now taking revenge against her father, under her mother's "Heter".... The Rov who supported the wife the whole time, realizing what a liar she is, demanded she back out from all the terrible things she was doing to her husband... She turned to the very Rov who she used the whole time for a Heter & told him "I don't need you anymore, I now hove Rav so & so who gave me a new Heter!".... & this new Rov is avoiding contact by those who want to present the husband's Tzad.... This therapist, & these Rabbonim have a lot to think about,,, A lot of Cheshbon Nefesh on Retzicha they condone or even plan!

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  11. No one cares once you label the father a molester you won. You put doubt in everyone's mind and just like that you kill someone.

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  12. Instead of saving lives we are destroying them. We have Hatzolah to save lives yet this goes on and lives are destroyed.

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  13. And than they set up a kupas tzedaka to support the battle waged against the husband

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  14. And then they need to raise money for the poor single mother and her family. What a waste of gelt

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  15. These therapist social workers run like chickens when the heat is on. They take credit when it looks good but when it backfires they blame everything but themselves. How do they live with themselves knowing they broke up a family they caused a father to not see or talk to his children. Such arrogance such geiva.

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  16. One of these therapists in a agency who called authorities on a father which the bais din paskend was mesira is scheduled to speak to school menahalim about chinuch. Is this the hashkafos that are guiding the chinuch of our children. How can we allow this.

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  17. It is very easy for a Women to Get a Restraining order in New Jersey Family court all a Women need say is that she feels Threatened , scared or Harrased and Walla the Judge hands her over a Restraining order Than she makes sure to catch him on some silly bogus violation and now Walla he is Branded a Criminal for life and now she has the upper hand in all matters pertaining to the seperation divorce , Custudy , Money Property , Assets , etc.

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